2016-07-06

The Pastor's Wife


Gladys was the preacher's wife and accompanied her husband each Sunday to church. One particular Sunday when the sermon seemed to go on forever, many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be sociable, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to revive him from his stupor, she extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!"
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function scroll() { var delay = 10; //Get query parameters function getUrlVars() { var vars = {}; var parts = window.location.href.replace(/[?&]+([^=&]+)=([^&]*)/gi, function (m, key, value) { vars[key] = value; }); return vars; } var page = getUrlVars()["p"]; // Scroll down to the paginated content if (page != null && page.length > 0) { setTimeout(function () { function offset(el) { var rect = el.getBoundingClientRect(), scrollTop = window.pageYOffset || document.documentElement.scrollTop; return { top: rect.top + scrollTop } } var div = document.getElementById("scrollToHere"); var divOffset = offset(div); window.scrollTo(0, divOffset.top - 75); }, delay); } }
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function scroll() { var delay = 10; //Get query parameters function getUrlVars() { var vars = {}; var parts = window.location.href.replace(/[?&]+([^=&]+)=([^&]*)/gi, function (m, key, value) { vars[key] = value; }); return vars; } var page = getUrlVars()["p"]; // Scroll down to the paginated content if (page != null && page.length > 0) { setTimeout(function () { function offset(el) { var rect = el.getBoundingClientRect(), scrollTop = window.pageYOffset || document.documentElement.scrollTop; return { top: rect.top + scrollTop } } var div = document.getElementById("scrollToHere"); var divOffset = offset(div); window.scrollTo(0, divOffset.top - 75); }, delay); } }