2019-11-11

Bertha Belch and Other Bloopers


Church Bulletin
  • "Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Memorial Church. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
  • Ushers will eat latecomers.
  • Miss Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  • The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.




Church Marquee

  • Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
  • Under same management for thousands of years.
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.
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function scroll() { var delay = 10; //Get query parameters function getUrlVars() { var vars = {}; var parts = window.location.href.replace(/[?&]+([^=&]+)=([^&]*)/gi, function (m, key, value) { vars[key] = value; }); return vars; } var page = getUrlVars()["p"]; // Scroll down to the paginated content if (page != null && page.length > 0) { setTimeout(function () { function offset(el) { var rect = el.getBoundingClientRect(), scrollTop = window.pageYOffset || document.documentElement.scrollTop; return { top: rect.top + scrollTop } } var div = document.getElementById("scrollToHere"); var divOffset = offset(div); window.scrollTo(0, divOffset.top - 75); }, delay); } }