There are lots of lists out there describing what people consider to be the most important things to do in life. And these lists have lovely sentiments. Find love. Appreciate your family. Do something you are passionate about. I don’t disagree with any of that advice. Those are important things. But all those lists avoid […]
Many people struggle with their self-esteem. If you are one of them, know that you are not alone. The world can be a very cruel place, and oftentimes, other people can be negative and harsh. It is no small wonder that sometimes our self-esteem can be low.
The problem with having low self-esteem is that it can lead us to make bad decisions. We end up making decisions that aren’t in our best interests because we don’t know our value.
For example, we all know decent, normal people who end up marrying difficult individuals because they think that they can’t do better. Some people don’t pursue certain careers because they believe that they aren’t smart enough or talented enough. People make all kinds of terrible life decisions due to a lack of self-esteem.
Your Upbringing and Your Self-Esteem
Your upbringing can dramatically affect your self-esteem. It is the job of parents to instill a proper level self-esteem in their children. That means that parents are supposed to ensure that their children know what makes them special! Every child should know what he or she is good at, and be happy with the unique person that they are. That is healthy self-esteem.
The problem is that many parents fail to instill self-esteem in their children. They undermine their children’s self-esteem in all kinds of ways. Some parents don’t spend enough time with their children, and as a result, their children don’t feel like they are valuable. Other parents focus too heavily on their children’s flaws, and ignore their gifts. Some parents may excessively praise one child to the detriment of another child’s self-worth.
Sadly, there are a lot of people broken people running around the world because their parents didn’t make them feel loved, valued and special.
Your Self-Esteem Can Be Improved
The good news is that even if your parents didn’t instill a healthy level of self-esteem in you, this isn’t the end of the road. You still have the ability to grow in confidence and self-esteem. You simply have to work at it.
Below are ways to improve your self-esteem. Follow them and starting loving the beautiful person that you are!
Surround Yourself with the Right Kind of People
When you are working on building up your self-esteem, it is important to be around people who encourage you. You need to surround yourself with cheerleaders who focus on your best qualities, rather than those who want to point out your flaws.
Realize that there are some people who can’t help but be critical of others. Sadly, the critics of the world are a dime a dozen. Don’t listen to them, and certainly don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.
Instead, surround yourself with people who are positive. Find a mentor who encourages you and believes in you. Choose friends who have high self-esteem and who boost the self-esteem of others. If you choose to be around upbeat, encouraging people, you naturally will be positive yourself!
Speak Nicely to Yourself
Most of us are too hard on ourselves. If we make a mistake, the world barely will notice, yet we’ll beat ourselves up over it. Or perhaps we have lots of impressive accomplishments, but we only focus on our failures.
To improve your self-esteem, you need to change your internal dialogue. You need to learn to speak kindly to yourself.
This is where positive affirmations can help immensely. Using them initially may feel awkward or odd. However, they are the best way to rewire your brain to think positively about yourself.
Your positive affirmations don’t have to be anything fancy. A positive affirmation could be as simple as, “I can accomplish anything that I focus on.” Or, “I am talented and intelligent.”
You don’t have to say them out loud. But you should say them to yourself through out the day. Treat them as exercises, like doing sit-ups. Realize that if your self-esteem is low, then your mind is not thinking properly. So, you have to retrain it to think correctly. As you say these affirmations to yourself, your mind will transform, and your self-esteem will improve.
Realize that You Are on This Earth for a Reason
If your self-esteem is low, understand this: You are not here by accident. If you are on this earth, that means that God has a very specific purpose for your life. Your job is to figure out that purpose and do it!
So, there is no reason to feel inadequate or unimportant. You are important. You are here for the purpose of improving the world in some way. So, in fact, you are incredibly valuable.
Your purpose may be to improve the lives of your family members or of the people in your community or workplace. It may be to help animals or the earth. The ways in which we each can improve the world through our kindness and generosity are endless.
So, shut out the noise of the world. Ignore the people who will tell you that you are lacking in some way. They are dead wrong. You are perfectly made for God’s purpose for your life.
We all suffer from low self-esteem at times. That is understandable. The world can be a harsh and critical place. So, we have to work at boosting our self-esteem. Use the strategies above to keep your self-esteem at a high level. Know how very valuable you are. (To read about ways to bulletproof your self-esteem, click here.)
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