You Can Sit With Us

“I gotta get up”, “I gotta get up”, “Get up!” My leg began to shake as I hesitantly placed my foot on the rocky terrain. I was taking the first step, I heard the call. I squeezed my eyes shut and placed the other foot onto the gravel. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down the path as far as my eyes could see. The clouds started to move out of the sun’s view and the light descended like a spotlight. God? Is that you?

I didn’t know what to do next so I began to move ahead down my path. I knew this path was not going to be an easy journey. There would be blood and tears. Was I ready? Nope, not even close but living in the past was like a vine growing around my neck, suffocating me from moving forward into my future. After all, every new day is our future, yesterday is long gone but for me not forgotten. I needed to let go so I didn’t stay stuck in the what could have been.

As I looked at my clothes I realized that I did not have the proper attire or gear. How was I going to make it down this path of mine without preparation? The fear was rising but I also knew I was not alone so I silenced those pesky voices of fear and doubt and kept walking, staying present.

What was on my path? It was all such a mystery waiting to be discovered. I knew there would be signs, opportunities, and even miracles waiting for me along the way. I would experience greater love and loss too. My step turned into a skip as I thought about this bright future of mine. Just breathe it all in.  Wildflowers were growing on each side of the road. The water I could hear in the distance. Birds flying over head as if they were sent there to guide me.

I did not have a clue where this journey would take me. I just had to trust and lean into this adventure of what I would learn, discover and have to lay down along the way.

The day began to say its goodbyes and I could feel a chill in the air. I pulled the hood over my head and zipped up my jacket as I continued to walk. The trees were rustling in the wind and the noises in the forest were becoming louder as if they were closing in on me. I looked around to see if there was anyone else in sight but there was not. This was my path, my walk. Night swept in and I started to become afraid again. I could no longer see where I was going. I was cold, tired, and hungry. “Please don’t leave in me in the dark!” ” I don’t know where I am going, ” I cried out!  I didn’t know what to do so I gathered some leaves and made a pillow next to a rock. I curled up tight and tried to rest but I could hear footsteps in the woods. “Please God, don’t let anything happen to me.” I was shaking uncontrollably as I heard the footsteps getting closer. I held on tight to the rock, not moving. Seconds turned into minutes as my whole body remained tense. I was too scared to turn around and see what was behind me. If I move, my prey will pounce.

Exhaustion finally set in and before I knew it I could no longer keep my eyes open. The night was long but somehow I survived. My muscles ached but I was alive. I was grateful for another day.

The sun was rising and the winds had died down. I reached my hand out and picked up some of the rocks. I held them in my hand for a moment and watched them slip through my fingers. Why am I here? What’s the plan?  I still didn’t know but I heard the call so I got up, dusted the leaves out of my hair and took another step trusting in the one who would help me flourish into the woman He created me to be. He would unveil the talents and the gifting. He would show me how to love at a deeper level and give me the strength He knows I am going to need to make it all the way home. Just keep going for He is right there.

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