The Queen of My Self


 Is when we celebrate love.  It is an ideal time to think about loving and caring for ourselves, which is where all love and nurturing comes from. We can’t say, “I love you” unless we can say, “I”!

By Wendi Knox, writer/artist/uplifter

Have you listened to your heart lately?
I have.

Last week, when millions of women took to the streets to stand up for what they believed in, My Heart urged me to sit down on the couch and stay home.
The Voice In My Head was incredulous:
But My Heart understood that ever since the fires terrorized our magical little town of Ojai, I’ve been shaken to the core.
Though deeply grateful for my own blessings, I feel the sorrow of all those less fortunate and the primal fear of every living creature whose life was threatened by the fire.
The Voice In My Head told me to “GET OVER IT!”
But My Heart gave me permission to wrap myself up in a cozy blanket of peace and quiet so I could be part of the Women’s March in a way that felt good to me.  
Me and my pussy hat at the Women’s March.
As I watched the march, I realized that if we women want our voices fully heard in the outside world, we must learn to honor and respect the wise and loving voice within.
Be your own activist.
How many times a day do you say “yes” to things that you wish you could say “no” to?
How many of your your sentences begin with “I should” or “I have to?”
Listen, I’m not advocating selfishness as a lifestyle but I am learning that the world won’t end if I make myself a priority.
In fact, the more compassionate, loving care we give to ourselves, the more we have to give to others. And the world.
Have a heart-to-heart with yourself.
If, like so many of us, you were programmed to please others before yourself, it’s hard to even know how you feel.
Here’s a little something that works for me:
Take a few minutes to yourself, somewhere quiet, preferably in nature. (It helps you get grounded.)
Place your hand on your heart. And take some nice nourishing breaths right into your hand.
Close your eyes and ask your Heart, “Does this feel right to you?”  Or “What would bring you peace?” Or joy? (Or whatever words
feel right to you.)
The more you ask, the more your Heart will have to say to you.
And instead of always thinking what you should feel, you’ll find yourself feeling into what you want to do.

Self-love is the answer.
Even if you didn’t live through a fire, just living through these times is enough to burn anyone out.
Instead of pushing ourselves to do more, I say push the pause button. And feel more.
By feeling our fragility, we find our strength.
By surrendering to our fears, we become fierce.
By giving ourselves time To Be, we know what To Do.
If you feel like it, I’d be so grateful if you’d follow this link over to my blog and share whatever’s in your Heart.
With soaring love,

Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to

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