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I’ve blogged about narcissists before, but just to get us all on the same page, the Mayo Clinic research group defines narcissistic personality disorder as “a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” In…

In a new book “The Marriage and Relationship Junkie,” I  explores the various complexities of relationship addiction. As a guideline to a working definition and a greater understanding, keep in mind that any type of addiction is something that causes a negative occurrence in the individual’s life. The Damage of Addiction Just like being addicted…

The expanding body of research into brain-based responses to different types of stimuli has provided greater insight into how humans become addicted. In fact, there is actually a pleasure center in the brain, which is the nucleus accumbens. This is part of the brain that  responds to specific triggers, including romance and sexual desire, and…

In my new book “The Marriage and Relationship Junkie,” I explore the various complexities of relationship addiction. As a guideline to a working definition and a greater understanding, keep in mind that any type of addiction is something that causes a negative occurrence in the individual’s life. The Damage of Addiction Just like being addicted to…

We’ve all seen those photos on Facebook of a woman beaming as she holds up her hand to show off her engagement ring. Sometimes a happy partner crowds into the picture; sometimes it’s just the hand and the ring, a proud declaration: “We’re engaged!” In fact, within hours and sometimes even minutes of their engagement,…

Codependency is one of those words that is thrown around so often and in so many contexts these days that it seems to mean everything and nothing at all. We know codependent relationships are dysfunctional, but it seems that “codependent” has now become a synonym for “unhealthy relationship.” There are lots of kinds of unhealthy…

Breaking up for some people is like withdrawing from drugs. Withdrawal from love is one of the most painful withdrawals because there is a unique connection between the person affected and his or her need for love as a child. During withdrawal people psychologically go back in time and feel all the losses they felt…

In a previous blog, I explained that codependent marriage junkies try to make their partner totally dependent on them, so they will never be able to leave. This kind of codependency is the result of a childhood that was full of unmet needs. The codependent believes that if they sacrifice enough, their partner will give…

Relationship junkies are always trying to create a “perfect” relationship. Of course, perfection is a fantasy, but they’re always trying to bring that fantasy to life. Seeking perfection—in yourself and others—is actually a compulsion to control, which is why relationship addicts sometimes feel like controlling partners. When everything around them seems precarious and desperate, control…

You can’t watch anything on TV these days without seeing an ad for a dating app. The selling point for most of them seems to be that they’re more scientific about making a match or the people who use them are more serious about dating—all leading to some version of, “We’ll make sure you get…
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