A Pew Research Center poll is revealing a growing drop in interest to get married amongst 12^th grade girls. Interest in having children also dropped. According to the study, as of 2023, 67% of US 12th graders thought they would get married someday, a drop from 80% in 1993. Of those who thought they would get married, only 48% thought they would have children, down from 64%. There were also doubts about the longevity of their marriages. Only 51% stated they believed they would be married to the same person for life, down from 89%.

The biggest change was amongst 12^th grade girls over their male counterparts. As of 2023, 12^th grade boys were more likely than girls to believe they would get married (74% to 61%).  While the numbers were mostly unchanged for boys during the 30-year period, girls had dropped from 83% in 1993 to 61%.

Ms. Magazine framed the drop in a positive light. “It’s telling that the girls who no longer say marriage is on their minds largely aren’t saying that they don’t want to get married; instead, they’re saying that they have no idea. And good!” wrote Jill Filipovic for Ms. “These are girls who are 16, 17 and 18. The average age of first marriage for American women is now nearly 29, with women who graduate from college marrying even later. Marriage, for the vast majority of high school girls, is many years away—if it happens at all.” Filipovic noted that there were a number of factors of why girls and women weren’t thinking so much about marriage, including greater access to education and careers, as well as less cultural pressure to be married. “There are all kinds of reasons why marriage has declined, and these reasons are both material and cultural. But they aren’t stemming from teenage girls,” concluded Filipovice. “If anything, the teenage girls who increasingly say they aren’t thinking about marriage are the smart ones. They shouldn’t be thinking about marriage at 17—that’s not the basis for a good marriage or a good life. And they are lucky to be growing up in a culture where they can marry for love and out of desire, rather than for money or social acceptance and out of necessity.”

Conservative commentator Jack Posobiec called the shift the “Sex and the City effect.” Other conservatives framed the decline as the effect of feminism and public school indoctrination. The Barna Institute, referencing its own study, focused on the change in social attitudes toward marriage, particularly the growth of cohabitating, even in those who attend church. “What’s more significant is the shift in social attitudes,” noted Barna. 58% of all adults, 42% of practicing Christians, called living with someone before marriage “wise.” “This presents both a pastoral challenge and an invitation: how can churches teach a countercultural view of commitment while engaging couples with empathy rather than judgment?”