Do you have a case of the “When I haves”? The “When I haves” are the tripped-up ways of thinking that go something like this: “When I have that job, or when I have that relationship, or when I have that money . . . then I’ll be happy.” This future-tripping leads your mind to control, manipulate and over-think. Plus you’ll be led to thoughts like, “When will I get there?” and “Why am I not there yet?”
Obsessing over future outcomes always leads to discomfort. What happens is that you’ve turned that future outcome into an idol. You’ve placed the outcome on a pedestal, proclaiming, “When I have that, I’ll be happy.” Or even worse, you tell yourself that because you don’t have it now, your life totally sucks and you’ll never be happy.

There are three steps to escaping the “When I have” mentality. First, take the focus off yourself. By choosing to shift your focus from a “woe is me” mentality, to a “how can I help others” mentality, you immediately are blasted into another dimension. You’ll be brought back to your true reason for being on this planet: to give love and receive love. By shifting your focus off yourself you’ll quickly feel a sense of relief. You’ll feel calmer and begin to release your obsession with the future. Most importantly you’ll get out of your own way and be of service to someone else.

This brings us to the second stop for releasing the “When I haves.” It’s pretty simple: Calm down. Embrace the concept that you are right where you need to be. Think about it. Can you remember a time in your life where you thought you’d never survive the situation you were in? In retrospect, can you now find some serenity in that past situation? Possibly, you may now understand that you wouldn’t be where you are today without the difficult past circumstance. If so, use these past examples as impetus to begin accepting your current life circumstances as learning opportunities for the future. Have faith that there’s a plan greater than yours that will guide you to serenity.

Now you might be thinking, “How the hell am I supposed to have faith that there’s a plan greater than mine?” Well, my friend, this brings us to the final step. Drum roll, please: Stop thinking and start connecting. This connection I speak of is a connection to the energy of the Universe. The Universe is a constant flow of energy, always creating, always supporting and always attracting. The same energy that makes the planets revolve around the sun also lives inside you. This energy is vibrating through you at all times. When you are vibrating with fear, the energy of the Universe is attracting more fearful outcomes to you. When you are vibrating from a place of faith, you are guided to outcomes that are in alignment with the calm state that faith provides. The way to positively co-create with this Universal energy is through daily prayer and meditation. A daily practice of prayer and meditation will help calm your thoughts and bring you into the present moment. By calming your mind you calm your energy. Therefore, you end up in a much better state for attracting better outcomes. This is what is called co-creating with Universal energy.

Your daily practice of prayer and meditation will rev up your positive energy and tone down your fear. Begin your prayers with one of my favorites from A Course in Miracles: “Where would You have me go? What would You have me do? What would You have me say, and to whom?” Once you’ve said the prayer out loud or in your head, sit in quiet meditation for five minutes. Focus on your breathing and allow guidance to come through.

If you’re ready to release your “When I haves” and surrender to “I’m right where I need to be,” test-drive the above suggestions for the next 30 days. As a result you will feel empowered by a sense of connectedness to the Universe, and you’ll experience release. Faith will become something that you understand on a gut level. If you do your part to make positive perceptual shifts you can expect miracles. “Heaven on earth” is not just a catchphrase.

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