(SCENE: A radio studio. VENUS sits in front of the microphone)
ANNOUNCER: You’re listening to “Love Life Drama Advice With Venus In Leo!” Call in with your questions now!
***
Jul 30, 2019 Venus sesquiquadrate Neptune in Pisces
VENUS: Go ahead, Line One, you’re on the air!
(VENUS cringes as the air is filled with loud feedback)
VENUS: Neptune, I keep telling you not to stand next to your radio when you call in!
Aug 2, 2019 Venus square Uranus in Taurus
VENUS: Go ahead, you’re on the air!
URANUS: Hi Venus. I’m looking for ways to liven up my love life. How do you feel about using electric cattle prods in the bedroom?
VENUS: That’s a terrible idea!
URANUS: Hey, I said “liven up,” not “improve“!
Aug 8, 2019 Venus trine Jupiter in Sagittarius
VENUS: Line Three, you’re on!
JUPITER: Venus baby, how’s it hangin’?
VENUS: Hey Jupiter, always a blast to talk to you! How long has it been?
JUPITER: I forget. We were drinking!
VENUS: Riiiight. So, what’s your question today, Jupiter?
JUPITER: I forget. I’m drinking!
VENUS: Me too! Woo hoo!
Aug 9, 2019 Venus quincunx Saturn in Capricorn
VENUS: Well, that was fun. You’re on, Line Four!
SATURN: Your show’s format is outdated. No one listens to talk radio any more except for demographically-undesirable listeners. You have failed.
VENUS: (sobs quietly)
Aug 11, 2019 Venus quincunx Neptune in Pisces
VENUS: Hello caller, you’re on the air!
NEPTUNE: (Unbearably loud echo on the line) HIhi VENUSvenus I’Mi’m Aa BIGbig FANfan OFof YOURyour SHOWshow ANDand —
VENUS: Neptune, turn your radio down!
Aug 14, 2019 Sun conjunct Venus in Leo
VENUS: You know people, I’m really not pleased with how this show is turning out. You guys really make me wonder. Anyway… (sighs) go ahead Line One.
SUN: Venus baby, you’re awesome and you know it!
VENUS: Hey, so are you!
SUN: So awesome!
VENUS: We are!
Aug 14, 2019 Venus quincunx Pluto
VENUS: I’m getting tired of this show. I need a change of pace. Last call, Line Four.
PLUTO: Oh don’t worry. This won’t last forever. Everyone dies eventually. Now, my question —
VENUS: (sobbing) I give up!
Aug 21 Venus enters Virgo
ANNOUNCER: That’s all for now. Up next after the news: Gentle, Caring Medical Advice with Doctor Venus N. Virgo!
Want to know how to work with the current and future energy to get maximum benefit? Feel free to write me about it!
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