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Oh My Stars

matthew currie astrology venus in leo(SCENE: A radio studio. VENUS sits in front of the microphone)

ANNOUNCER: You’re listening to “Love Life Drama Advice With Venus In Leo!” Call in with your questions now!

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Jul 30, 2019  Venus sesquiquadrate Neptune in Pisces

VENUS: Go ahead, Line One, you’re on the air!
(VENUS cringes as the air is filled with loud feedback)
VENUS: Neptune, I keep telling you not to stand next to your radio when you call in!

Aug 2, 2019 Venus square Uranus in Taurus

VENUS: Go ahead, you’re on the air!
URANUS: Hi Venus. I’m looking for ways to liven up my love life. How do you feel about using electric cattle prods in the bedroom?
VENUS: That’s a terrible idea!
URANUS: Hey, I said “liven up,” not “improve“!

Aug 8, 2019 Venus trine Jupiter in Sagittarius

VENUS: Line Three, you’re on!
JUPITER: Venus baby, how’s it hangin’?
VENUS: Hey Jupiter, always a blast to talk to you! How long has it been?
JUPITER: I forget. We were drinking!
VENUS: Riiiight. So, what’s your question today, Jupiter?
JUPITER: I forget. I’m drinking!
VENUS: Me too! Woo hoo!

Aug 9, 2019 Venus quincunx Saturn in Capricorn

VENUS: Well, that was fun. You’re on, Line Four!
SATURN: Your show’s format is outdated. No one listens to talk radio any more except for demographically-undesirable listeners. You have failed.
VENUS: (sobs quietly)

Aug 11, 2019 Venus quincunx Neptune in Pisces

VENUS: Hello caller, you’re on the air!
NEPTUNE: (Unbearably loud echo on the line) HIhi VENUSvenus I’Mi’m Aa BIGbig FANfan OFof YOURyour SHOWshow ANDand —
VENUS: Neptune, turn your radio down!

Aug 14, 2019 Sun conjunct Venus in Leo

VENUS: You know people, I’m really not pleased with how this show is turning out. You guys really make me wonder. Anyway… (sighs) go ahead Line One.
SUN: Venus baby, you’re awesome and you know it!
VENUS: Hey, so are you!
SUN: So awesome!
VENUS: We are!

Aug 14, 2019 Venus quincunx Pluto

VENUS: I’m getting tired of this show. I need a change of pace. Last call, Line Four.
PLUTO: Oh don’t worry. This won’t last forever. Everyone dies eventually. Now, my question —
VENUS: (sobbing) I give up!

Aug 21 Venus enters Virgo

ANNOUNCER: That’s all for now. Up next after the news: Gentle, Caring Medical Advice with Doctor Venus N. Virgo!

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