Beliefnet
Letting Go with Guy Finley

Question: Judging others is my problem. I comment on their looks, job, what they think, how they feel, etc. I try to stop but it’s constant. What does this mean?

Answer: To one degree or another, it’s our tendency to judge each other, especially when someone does something that pushes one of our buttons. But there are a couple of important things going on behind the scenes that we need to see…if we want to stop judging one another. First, all forms of judging are the same as blaming the one we judge for making us feel what we don’t want to feel. But that person did not make us feel anything. Our task is to see that while the other may have “pushed” our button – it’s our button! The “fingers” and the “buttons” they push are not separate things; they don’t exist without one another. In other words, “finger” and “button” are secret opposites. The clearer we can see how the “offending” other is really just revealing the unconscious parts of us so easily offended, the sooner we will be free of the “judge” that lives in us.

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