A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
Perfection. So many of us are taught that we should strive for that impossible standard. In my DoorMat days I thought I had to be perfect to please everyone. And because I couldn’t be perfect all the time, I tried harder to please. And it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to receive good stuff.
As I began to love myself, I recognized that it was self-loving to cut myself slack when I made a mistake or didn’t do something perfectly. I accepted that always being perfect is impossible. I always accepted flaws in my friends so why not be my own best friend and accept them in me?
Now I relax when I make a mistake or don’t so something perfectly, I laugh, say “Oops!” or remind myself that I tried my best and that’s all I can do. Beating yourself up for not being perfect is unloving since it makes you feel bad. Allowing the imperfections to happen without stress is a form of self-forgiveness, which says, “I love me!”
Doing things without the pressure of needing to be perfect allows you to enjoy life more. You can laugh at your oops moments. And have fun doing things you enjoy, without having to do them well.
For example, when I began to run in the park, my muscles would be uncomfortably tight after, because I pushed myself to keep going like everyone else did. I thought that if I ran I should do it “right.” What did that mean? I shouldn’t stop and take stretching breaks to help my muscles. After a while I hated running because I was in so much pain after. I thought I’d be embarrassed to take stretching breaks.
When I let go of the need to be perfect, I decided to resume running, but not perfectly. I have le spots to stop with posts to use for stretching. I realized that nobody I cared about would judge me. Other runner didn’t care if I stopped to stretch. People I know aren’t there when I do it. This time I enjoy my imperfect runs, since I love getting my exercise in Central Park and no longer care how I do it.
Not worrying about being perfect is fun! And self-loving, since it’s accepting yourself as imperfect, which everyone is. It allows you to do things your way. Being perfectly imperfect means, you can stop trying so hard and relax, and laugh at your imperfections. I love being able to laugh when I goof, instead of beating myself up. Being perfectly imperfect allows you to be comfortable being yourself, not trying to live up to other people’s expectations. That’s a self-loving life!
Join The Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment—“I commit to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the next 31 days.” and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.