A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
When you’re not happy, you look to the future to begin to feel good about yourself and who you are. But why wait? Chances are if you can’t make right now work, the future may not get any better. If you want to feel good about you and let more happiness into your life, do what you can to be your best every day.
When I was a DoorMat, I didn’t care much about how I looked. If anything I tried to wear things to distract attention from me. I wore bright colored shirts so people wouldn’t notice what was in them if they were attracted to the colors. I wore huge earring so more attention would be paid to them than to my face. I never wore makeup and didn’t do much with my hair, which I felt was hopeless, so why bother? So it was no surprise that I felt lousy about me. My self-esteem was in the toilet and self-love was a concept I couldn’t understand.
After an experience attending a Mary Key Cosmetics party, which I talked about in my article, How My Self-Love Began at a Mary Kay Cosmetics Party, I began to wear a little eye makeup. I felt prettier and liked myself more. Slowly I began paying more attention to my appearance. I found a good hair stylist who introduced me to products that controlled what always thought of as “the bush.” People noticed and compliments flowed in about how nice I looked. I began to pay more attention to what I wore. That made me feel better about myself. It helped me increase my self-esteem and build strong self-love.
Slowly I went through my closet and gave away any clothes that I didn’t really like or that wasn’t flattering. As I felt better about me, my style became more subdued—no more bright clothing to distract! I remember going shopping with my dad and buying a pair of earrings with small amethyst drops hanging down. When my dad saw them, he was surprised and said, ‘That’s not you.” He was used to the big dangling earrings. I smiled and said that was me now. It was a defining moment.
Do what you can to be at your best as much as you can—for you. It feels so great to know you look good when you go out. Of course there are days when a comfy pair of sweats feels right and that’s fine. But the more you pay attention to being at your best, the more confident you’ll become. And that allows self-love to bloom and makes life happier in general.
Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 2013 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE. Join the Self-Love Movement™! on Facebook.
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