A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
January is Self-Love Month. Last year I began the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge to begin the year on a loving note. It’s a pledge to do something loving for yourself for the first 31 days of the year. But this challenge has run all year so people could pledge to do something kind for yourself for the next 31 days. Self-love is always good whatever time of year it is! Over 2200 people have signed the pledge and taken the challenge. The new year pledge is up now.
“I pledge to do my best to do something loving for myself, however big or small, for the first 31 days of 2012.”
Even if you took the challenge this year, I encourage you to sign the pledge to start 2012 with 31 days of giving yourself love. Building self-love allowed me to leave DoorMatville. I believe it’s the key to happiness. When you love yourself, you’re motivated to do good things for you and pass on things that aren’t. When you love yourself, your tolerance of poor behavior is low. Self-love helped me appreciate the special woman that I am and was the fuel that got me on the train out of DoorMatville.
My self-love began well into adulthood. I grew ups disliking myself and finding no value in me. I was the tallest girl in my class when I entered kindergarten. It made me feel big, which in a world that promotes slim, made me believe I was fat. The small girls were considered cuter. They got more attention from teachers and were more popular. Hating myself for not being small began at five years old and by adulthood, I was convinced I was fat and ugly, which I absolutely wasn’t!
All I saw in the mirror was my cellulite and unruly hair. Someone had to pull me to a mirror to make me see I had pretty green eyes. Then one day I did something kind for me. It wasn’t much, but it felt so good, eventually I did something else I liked. A funny thing happened. I realized I felt a little happy! Happiness wasn’t a normal part of my life in those days, since I was too busy pleasing others to compensate for what I thought was wrong with me. It’s hard to be happy when you ignore your own needs.
But doing something for me made me happy!
It began with a small splurge—spending a few extra bucks to buy a good brand of face cream. Then I said “no’, a word rarely in my vocabulary, on a nasty day when the thought of going out felt lousy, and I smiled a lot being cozy at home in my jammies. Each small kindness to me made me feel more kindly about myself. I’d do something loving and feel happier, which made me want to do more. That focus on self grew into deep self-love.
I never thought I could like, no less love myself. But today my self-love is VERY strong. It’s helped me develop extraordinary self-confidence, and led me to reinvent myself from an unhappy schoolteacher to writing popular books and counseling people. Now I see myself as beautiful. It’s funny that this once self-professed fat girl now has a sexy, curvy, wonderful body—without losing an ounce. Instead, I lost my unloving perception by loving me.
Now I’m giving back to say thanks for my blessings. Join me in taking baby steps to developing self-love. Every little loving act you do for you is another brick in the foundation of self-love. Every bit of self-love you build leads to more. It’s a synergy that facilitates happiness and well-being.
So I challenge you to love yourself! Since January is Self-Love Month, you can sign my 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge —to do something loving for yourself, however small, on every day of January—on http://howdoiloveme.com. While you’re there, download my FREE book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways. I want to spread the love I learned to give myself so more people will be happy like me. As a former tubby DoorMat who hated herself turned hot chick who loves herself, I can attest that loving yourself is the best place to be.
If you haven’t seen this video, I explain why I’m doing my 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge and giving my self-love book away for free.
Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge –a pledge to start your year by doing something kind for yourself for the first 31 days of January–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.
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