A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
I’ve written about Brit before. One keeps hearing about how low she keeps sinking. People reach out to her. And now, her dirty family laundry is being aired, giving obvious clues about why Brit keeps taking the low road. So what’s a pop princess to do?
I’ve always said I have compassion for Britney Spears.
Now that her childhood traumas have been exposed, I have even more. Her father was an alcoholic. She was her parent’s ticket out of poverty. What I’ve read is quite dysfunctional. Her mom is said to have taken her to bars and shared glasses of wine before Brit was eighteen. It’s easy to tell someone to live for right now. But Brit jumped from child to adult world. She missed adolescence and growing pains that normal girls have. Now she’s suffering from the pain of being an adult in great distress.
My friend Joy Rose is founder of Mamapalooza, an entertainment and lifestyle community for moms. As a mom and lead singer for Housewives on Prozac, Joy has a strong focus on musicians and music related activities. She wrote the letter below, expressing her feelings about what Brit is going through. As someone so blatantly in the public eye, Britney Spears sets a bad example for many girls and young women who emulate her behavior. She’s also a sad example of how money, fame, looks, etc., don’t bring happiness or self-powerment. Here’s Joy’s letter:
Letter To Britney Spears
As a musician who’s also a mom, I want say how profoundly sorry I am for all you’re going through. Your career has been orchestrated by some of the biggest entertainment star-makers in the business, invested in keeping you young, beautiful and body-perfect. There is no such thing as a human being who doesn’t age and change and there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ mom. It’s time you made the adjustment from girl to woman, in a real way!
You are acting out, because you’re trying to find your power as a woman.
Historically, women have been deemed ‘crazy’ when they don’t behave in a quiet, neat and ‘good’ ways. Moms are especially subject to scrutiny and ridicule. What people don’t talk about is the importance of finding your personal power, BEFORE you can ever be a powerful role maker and mother.
You haven’t had a chance to do that yet, because you’ve been puppeted by your family and people in the business to make you appear in an image and likeness they find appealing. Now that no one’s holding the strings–you’re not quite sure what to do. That’s madness in the making.
By the same token, just because you do what the public deems ‘normal’ doesn’t mean you’re doing a ‘good’ job either. The papers have been applauding Kevin Federline as a ‘good Dad’ because he stands there mute. He’s quiet. He’s domicile. His veneer is together. No one knows what he does in private and I suspect it’s not always very admirable. I recently saw his photo in Star Magazine. They had him posing with a cigarette in his hand, and the title ‘good Dad’ above him. There aren’t any uprisings about him smoking?? Why not?
We are all human beings first and foremost. You need to find your power. Your power can’t just come from your youth and body anymore, because once you cross over that invisible line of ‘Momdom’ you become something else – A Mom Rocker.
Feel free to contact me anytime. We’re an organization of Moms Who Rock!
All Love and Compassion for you on your journey,