A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
According to Gawker, John Fitzgerald Page is the worst person in the world. Why? Because he wrote some mean, arrogant things to a woman who winked at him on Match.com. His email response extolled how wonderful he is and sounded more like a resume than a friendly note. After reading the email he sent she sent him a polite note saying she felt they weren’t match.
Page made a point of asking her about her body and indicated he assumed she’s not in good shape because she only had headshots with her profile. When she turned him down, he hurled even more nasty assumptions at her. Since his ego is inflated more than a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade, John was angry because he believed that she had no right to turn his sorry butt down. After all, he went to good schools, did impressive things, and was a great catch, right?
Wrong! People who think they’re better than most, are the worst candidates for a relationship.
They may look good and have money but a jumbo ego is toxic. It creates a ME-ME-ME mentality. If someone responded to me like he did to this woman I’d have deleted it fast and run. Cross them and they get vicious. Reject and they bite. Don’t go along with their needs and they attack. I’ve been with men who thought they were IT. It was all about them. They were critical and expected to get what they wanted. Women can be that way too.
When John Fitzgerald Page responded to her turning him down, he was also showing the kind of person he his. How dare anyone turn these super-egos down? So they attack. And get nasty as their anger of not being worshiped comes out. They think that someone they give attention to should be grateful for it; that they’re better than the rest; that they should be catered to by the person lucky enough to be with them.
If you want to feel good about yourself, avoid these types at all costs. It’s hard to feel self-empowered when you’re with someone who truly thinks that he or she is a prize who is most important. Value yourself enough to only with someone who values you too! From what I hear from both sexes who’ve dated an overblown ego, if you date one, you’re more likely to:
* Lose yourself and your needs to his or her ego.
* Feel unappreciated
* Be criticized
* Experience lousy, selfish sex.
* Have poor communication because they think they’re always right and don’t listen.
* Walk on eggshells to avoid annoying the jerk and setting him or her off.
So, is John Fitzgerald Page the worst person in the world?
No! there are plenty of others just like him.
Most egos grow because people stoke them. It’s YOUR choice to do that to someone you like. Make sure you’re getting at least close to as good as you give. When I was a DoorMat, I jumped whenever my latest HE wanted something. And when I had a particularly hot boyfriend, I danced to his tune even faster, apologizing for things I didn’t even do and doing everything HIS way.
As I say in my book, All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, we create the jerks by making a romantic partner much more important than ourselves. Guys like John Fitzgerald Page get away with arrogance and selfishness because they’re allowed to. No one can do something to you that YOU DON’T ALLOW.
If we keep acting like they’re special or better than us, they’ll keep acting like they are.
I laugh at people like John Fitzgerald Page. I’ve heard him justify his pathetic response to this woman on CBS’s Early Show and found it hilarious, and sad. You can watch his clueless, arrogant reply on the Gawker post, Does his quote give you a clue about his attitude? You’ll hear he has no shame talking about how women should respond to men of his caliber. I think a woman’s response should be to run fast.
Nobody is better than anyone else. ALL human being should be respectful to each other. People with better looks or education or anything else are not better people; those who weigh more, have less education or make less money are just as good. I’ve learned that people who have to let others know how wonderful they are usually have low self-esteem and must reinforce the qualities they feel will get them admired.
Just because someone is good looking, wealthy, has a good job, a nice home, a top education, etc, doesn’t mean the bearer of all those goodies likes him or herself. Attractive kids get put down and emotionally damaged. Smart kids get kicked. Whether fat or thin, smart or struggling, pretty or not, being treated poorly hurts us all equally. Spouting hot air about how wonderful you are doesn’t heal the wounds. Only making a conscious effort to love yourself and develop better self-esteem can do that.
Wounds follow a person into adulthood. Sometimes they manifest in arrogance that’s a substitutes for self-love or a true sense of self-worth.
I think I’m a terrific chick but don’t go around telling people how wonderful I am. When you truly have good self-esteem, you let others discover all your good facets instead of advertising them. Telling, or not telling, doesn’t add or detract from who you are. I think John Fitzgerald Page needs to tell people how wonderful he is because he doesn’t love himself. I don’t think he’s the worst person in the world. I think he’s a sad, unhappy man, and toxic to anyone who gets close to him. I’d rather be single forever than go out with someone like him.
When I hear that someone is a good catch, I know the person is referring to external attributes that might make an impact on people but won’t keep you warm at night. They’ll impress friends and family and you’ll feel a false sense of worthiness for having “hooked” this catch. If a relationship centers around one person, it doesn’t usually create the connection that generate real love between partners. It’s better to love the person, not what you get from being with him or her!
Wait for people—whether in biz or for pleasure, who you like as a person.
Be careful when you meet those types! And more importantly—be careful not to become one of them! If you hear yourself spouting how wonderful you are, close your mouth, work
on loving yourself more and show by deeds that a good person you are. You’ll attract better opportunities and healthier people if you do! ?
If you enjoyed my post, please leave a comment and/or click on the bookmark and write a short review at some of the sites, especially Stumbleupon. Thanks! And thanks to Empowering Women for posting my article in this week’s Carnival.
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