Actress Jenny McCarthy is opening up about how the assassination of Christian conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk helped shape her faith. Appearing on the “Culture Apothecary” podcast with Alex Clark, she addressed questions about her activism for parental rights and how she viewed Hollywood, drawing the conversation into a discussion about her faith.  McCarthy was raised Catholic and became an outspoken advocate for parental rights against vaccines, which put her at odds with liberal Hollywood. She began to adopt more conservative stances, such as “questioning authority, less government control, [being] closer to God.”

McCarthy described her feelings after she heard of Kirk being shot. “I was so broken…when he was shot, I prayed and prayed and prayed, and then I was calling every doctor I possibly could, saying, ‘Tell me that this wound is something that could be healed…’ she said, adding, that “with every horrible thing, if you find the good, it can help you move forward. Look at the mass awakening. Look at how many people came closer to God, even including myself.”

Kirk’s death inspired McCarthy to go deeper into her faith. “I have a very deep relationship with God. You know, some people have to work really hard to hear Him. I’ve got a direct line. I mean, Jesus is my homie,” she said. “I’ve always been a follower of Christ, but when [Charlie] passed, I completely surrendered. I am so devoted. I started Bible study immediately…” She added that she and husband Donnie Wahlberg have “just have become devout since Charlie’s passing.” She spoke glowingly of Kirk’s legacy. “I just want Charlie to know that—and I know he knows this, because he can see us all—he changed the world,” she said. “He saved the world. I mean, imagine having that as your legacy…You brought all those people closer to Christ…What a gift.”

It’s a strong admission given the difficult year McCarthy has had. Speaking to People prior to Thanksgiving, she shared that she’d had nine surgeries in her mouth. “I had one infection that turned into another and another, and then I had these growths show up on my eyeballs. My teeth were falling out, implants falling out. They finally had to dig into my jawbone and chipped away, and found I had a deep bone infection. I’ve been on antibiotics for a year and have had to eat soft foods only.” McCarthy said she was excited to “chow down.”