Idol Chatter

If you can’t do, teach. And if you can’t sing, make a Christmas album. The latter adage has been proven again by the announcement that Pope Benedict XVI will join Regis Philbin, Colonel Sanders, and The Brady Bunch in releasing his own Yuletide recording. In announcing the disc, an executive at Geffen Records, which will release the record Nov. 30th, said, “”The Pope has got almost a lullaby tone to the way he sings.” Even when you’re talking about an 84-year-old theologian, that’s pretty faint praise.

The pontiff will not attempt any carols, traditional or otherwise; instead he’ll mostly intone other liturgical passages over classical music played by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, accompanied by a Vatican choir. His lullaby lilt will only get an airing during a Marian prayer–a traditional Roman Catholic form that asks Jesus’ mother to intercede for us. But you have to wonder if His Holiness couldn’t find a better way to raise funds for underprivileged kids’ musical training–even Colonel Sanders just put his face on the album cover and let Herb Alpert do the rest.

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