Idol Chatter

Two of my favorite things are spirituality and kitsch. That’s why I love coming across something like the Choose Your Religion Wheel. It’s a brightly colored cardboard wheel with different religions written around the outside. Pointing the dial on a religion provides you with a basic description plus information on “Potential New Friends” (membership), “Drawbacks,” “Perks,” “Afterlife Promises,” and “Accessories/Paraphernalia.”

The religions include the major ones (Hinduism, Judaism), denominations within major ones (Quakerism, Pentecostalism), maligned ones (Scientology, The Moonies), and the non-religious ones (Psychoanalysis, Atheism).

Let’s see what the wheel says about one of my favorite “religions,” Consumerism.

  • Accessories/Paraphernalia: Credit cards, designer jeans, SUVs, suburban tract homes.
  • Drawbacks: Credit overuse begets spiritual bankruptcy. Hard to keep up with Joneses. Corporate leaders unaccountable.
  • Perks: Few rules. Fun for those with disposable income.
  • Afterlife Promises: Can’t take it with you, but can leave it to the kids.

    For a more detailed “what religion are you?” questionnaire, try Beliefnet’s Belief-O-Matic. To purchase a Choose Your Religion Wheel, click here. I also recommend the Wheel of Excuses.

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