Beliefnet
How Great Thou Part

It’s a wonder most can’t walk away from disrespectful relationships in the very beginning.

The problem?

Generally speaking, we tolerate this lack of respect because it’s somehow familiar. This communication or more appropriately ‘lack of communication’ probably existed in our family of origin. We simply don’t know any better. These are the patterns we witnessed throughout our childhood.

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But boy, can a disrespectful relationship yield some mighty unpleasant baggage.

The beauty?

There are two viable options to avoid these types of destructive bonds.

You can attract yourself to respectful people just as easily as their unpleasant counterparts. In order to do this, it may take both heightened awareness and counseling so as to break old habits.

And, if two people are committed to one another and to improving their love and their lives, they can be taught to understand and embrace ‘great communication.’ There are great books on this topic, but counseling is really the best format because it is difficult to identify and recognize our own behaviors.

7 Things You Will Find in a Disrespectful Relationship:

1. Frustration:

It is incredibly frustrating to attempt to speak with a friend or Significant Other who lacks respect. 

The frustration level will build and build as one person attempts to discuss what is important to them and the other person continually disregards them.

2. Resentment:

Resentment mounts easily as disagreements and issues go unresolved.

This is a dangerous pattern because more and more water is accumulating under the bridge and eventually presents a real threat to the survival of the relationship.

3. Yelling:

Where there is yelling generally two things exist:

One individual lacks respect for the other while the other cares too much, thus remaining with the disrespectful partner too long.

The triple threat: A lack of respect, bad behavior and the overly caring enabler who tolerates it results in raised voices.

4. Anger:

A disrespectful person does not listen. Make that two disrespectful people and no one is listening to anyone.

It is inevitable that anger will take up residence within the relationship.

5. Name Calling:

Disrespectful people judge others and labels accompany judgments.

Likewise, an otherwise respectful individual who has attracted themselves to a person who lacks respect will likely get angry and frustrated enough to eventually resort to unbecoming tactics.

The desperation of terrible communication coupled with zero listening skills brings out the ugliest in the prettiest of people.

6. Out of Control:

Eventually, a disrespectful union makes people feel out of control.

Relationships with those we love should provide a safe harbor.

But never feeling heard and understood can make it feel as if an individual has no say in their own lives.

7. Belittling:

There is a significant bullying tactic in disrespectful communicators which leaves the recipient feeling both belittled and demeaned.

Nothing like another individual making someone feel small for their beliefs, ideas or thoughts.

It is an oppressive atmosphere which can damage even the healthiest self-esteem.

 

There you have it.

None of these Deadly Seven Sins sound at all appealing, yet every day otherwise well-adjusted people tolerate these toxic relationships.

There is a light at the end of every relationship tunnel.

We just have to choose it.

All relationships can be improved with the dedication of both parties and proper instruction and counseling. If not, they can be avoided with exactly the same type of education and counseling.

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E-mail: Colleen.Sheehy.Orme@gmail.com
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(Picture courtesy of Pexels)

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