How Great Thou Part

Relationships are challenging, even under the best circumstances. They require balance. There are already enough everyday life challenges that can derail a relationship. Therefore, they should stay clear of the following eight dangers.

Roles – The more relationships evolve into husband and wife rather than friends, equals, and teammates, the more the equilibrium is lost. It can evolve into stereotyping one another. It can also lead to gender-based indulgence abuse trying to show the wife that one deserves more camping, fishing, and golfing trips – or show the husband that he should put up with too many shopping sprees, spa days, etc. Roles can eventually lead to too much division between wife and husband and one person with too much power and the other powerless.

Comparisons – If spouses compare what they do and get to do, aka, tit for tat, it can become an exhausting exercise of comparisons. It can lead to a constant back and forth positioning for power. This partner got to go out one night so the other partner demands their turn, this partner bought something now the other partner demands an immediate purchase, etc. It is a continual equalizing of the relationship.

Neglect – If spouses focus too much on their own interests and profession, it may leave little time for one another and the relationship. In turn, that can evolve into vastly separate lives.

Family Conflicts- It is crucial that each spouse ensures their family respect and treat their spouse well. This responsibility falls squarely on the spouse whose family it is. If it is ignored it can lead to long-term problems and resentments that one spouse allows their family to mistreat the other. In addition, too much family drama from either family even if it isn’t directed at a spouse can take a relationship down because the relationship needs to stay centered.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy – It is extremely difficult to maintain a relationship which lacks emotional intimacy. It will be hard for a surface relationship to stand the test of time. A relationship which lacks this type of intimacy will leave a spouse feeling lonely, frustrated or possibly looking for a friendly ear. A relationship requires sharing on the deepest levels.

Control – A controlling spouse has one objective and that is to live life under their terms. It is counter-intuitive to relationships in general.

Selfishness – Selfishness is self-explanatory. Relationships are a ‘Relay’ and deserve give and take.

Disrespectfulness – Relationships erode in an environment of disrespectfulness. Respect begets respect and so lack of respect eventually leads to an unhealthy and chaotic communication style.

(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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