What do relationships mean to us. Valentine’s Day Weekend is a time to consider our connection to love and what it means to our lives. The love and awareness we have of self is a gateway to how we view other people. Yet, often in close relationships, the desires we have for ourselves and self-awareness, are projected on to our family and beloved. We seek to change others, instead of accepting them unconditionally.

I find this layer very hard to achieve. As much as I am accepting of others, I also wish for them to be making healthy choices for themselves.

Perhaps helpful is to gain perspective. Eckhart Tolle teaches something which may be applied to help in this regard:

“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”

Past our immediate thoughts and feelings, instinctual reactions and thought-responses, is something unfathomable – a spiritual oasis which is innately peaceful, unconditionally loving and giving. It is a helpful skill to connect to this internal universe. That way we will be less inclined in future to be reactive, and more likely to respond with compassion. When the external relational world is cluttered and overly emotional, close your eyes, go within and touch the divine.

When you open your eyes, it will help to see your relationships from a divine perspective. The voice in your head will soften and shift in time to match your soul vibration. Patterns of hurt and reactivity can be overcome with this type of mindfulness.

It’s a valuable reminder to enjoy the souls you have chosen to share this human incarnation with. I am sure I am not the only one, who has taken people for granted, or expected things from them. It’s hard to avoid a certain level of expectation.

We are often also caught up in emotional arguments that cloud the feelings of love and heartfelt compassion beneath the surface.

Most of us have challenging individuals in our families and perhaps even difficult partners or lovers. There are many underlying reasons for this, and much complexity. It is important to honour the journey of others, and also acknowledge that we have chosen important figures in our lives to share our journey. If we have chosen it, there is a soul purpose for it. It may range from being quite obvious to being almost impossible at this time to understand or accept. This is particularly true of having abusive people as family members or partners.

It is important to both give and receive love. It is important to develop a balance of self-love and service of other people. If we go too far in giving or taking, then we lose this balance.

“Some of us fail to balance our needs with the needs of others, being selfless or selfish. We fail to listen to our hearts, so we judge ourselves and others harshly.” (quoted from Wisdom of Souls by Michael Newton Institute, p.89)

Why are people in our lives? Especially people we consider difficult?

“We attract partners who are like us. Our unresolved issues draw to us others with similar emotional patterns. We have been designed to resolve our issues. Until we do, others will be like mirrors, reflecting our distortions and dysfunctions back to us. A closed heart will meet another closed heart, until we awaken.” (quoted from Wisdom of Souls by Michael Newton Institute, p.109)

The goal is awakening, and what higher goal could there be? The people in our lives are not accidental. If we want to change what turns up, we have to look within and change our patterns.

This Valentine’s Day weekend, will you bless yourself with love and fully embrace and enjoy the experience of being human? Will you sing and dance whilst opening your heart to love? Will you connect with your loved ones and share the sacred blessings of “I love you” to those who have your heart. My prayer for you is that you will be the love you wish to see in the world.

With All My Love,

David

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Be the love you wish to see in the world – David Star’lyte

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