Happiness means learning how to let-go. It may be letting go of a relationship that didn’t work, or career that isn’t panning out. Sometimes we find ourselves hanging on for dear life and when the truth is that it is only in the miracle of letting-go that things can change. I speak from experience. I have done the normal human dance of hanging on to something or someone so tight that we miss other opportunities for real happiness.
But with time, I have learned how to genuinely move through life with more ease. I take lessons from all of these caterpillars around that have to let-go of their hairy bodies to become the beautiful butterflies they are destined to become. Yes, it’s a little corny analogy but it’s true for me – and true for you.
So today, I am sharing 5 Happiness Tips around Letting Go:
1. Practice non-attachment. Buddhists believe that by holding something so tightly and being attached to a person, place, outcome – this causes suffering. Think about your own life. Ever want a piece of jewelry you lost? You agonized over finding it. Or had a relationship or partner that you dearly loved but somehow it didn’t work out. This was true heartbreak.
So by being attached to people, places or things we cause our own pain — an antidote to that is practice being non-attached. This means enjoying life to its fullness but realizing that everything has a natural start and end. So when you enjoy your garden this summer you aren’t under the illusion it will be forever — you appreciate that it has its time to grow, flourish and then when winter comes it will likely be done.
The more we can extend this wisdom to other parts of our life, and learn how to be non-attached to experiences, outcomes, people and places – we become emotionally free, and happier.
2. Let-go, Let-God. In the recovery moment, they have a saying “Let Go, and Let God” which does have some profound wisdom. Instead of believing we are 100% in control – it is often smarter to do what it is ours to do, and let it go. Divine, Source or Spirit can then help create a solution to whatever challenge we are facing. Ever have the experience where you didn’t know how something was going to get fixed? Or done? And then you prayed and somehow a miraculous solution presented itself.
I remember being responsible to sell my mother’s home (she died in a car accident), and somehow the mortgage payments became high – and the house was in danger of being foreclosed upon so then I prayed. I believe in the power of prayer and angelic help. Before I knew it a buyer surfaced out of what felt like was thin air and boom – the house sold in a market that was rocky at best but it happened.
3. Donate, Give Away or Throw Out all that doesn’t work. One key part of creating the space for more goodies is to “let-go” all the things in your life that don’t work from the broken blender in the garage to the clothes you don’t wear. Either give things away, get them fixed or somehow get rid of them. Because all this “broken stuff” is blocking the energy of real happiness and by letting it go – you create the mental, and physical space for better things to move in. Think of it like “Feng Shui” for your best life.
Edwene Gaines, master prosperity teacher, shared with me that by fixing or letting go of the things that are broken we are create the way for more prosperity too!! And who doesn’t want more vibrant health, wealth, love and creative self-expression? I am certainly “on board” to accept all the good the universe has for me…
4. Care Less about what others think of YOU. Mother Teresa once said (I am paraphrasing) that everything is only between you and God. I agree. What others think of you is really none of your business. I certainly have had to learn this being in the “public eye” since they’ll be people who praise you, love you, give you awards and others will tear you down for being who you were born to be.
What I have come to learn is that what other people think really doesn’t matter and what Mother Teresa said is powerful. By doing your best every day, turning it all “over” to a higher power and then beginning again each fresh again with new enthusiasm and passion for what you were born to do — this is miracle producing.
5. Look Ahead (stop looking in the rearview mirror!!!). We have all done it and it hurts. We lost a job and we can’t stop thinking about it. The problem is by focusing on what went wrong with Mr. Pain in the Butt Boss, and not letting it go – we create more pain in our lives. Don’t get me wrong I often think challenges are great opportunities to see if there is something for us to learn (did we pick the wrong job? Wrong mate? Bad car choice?), and perhaps we can make a better choice in the future.
By obsessing about the past, what happened, what we think we did wrong or someone else “did wrong” we are giving our power away. It is really only when we are in the present — being completely here now where we get to consciously create a better life for ourselves and our families. So let’s do it. Let’s let go of anything worrying us and focus on solutions, possibilities and allowing for the miracle of our lives to happen in even bigger ways!
By Maureen Healy
Maureen Healy is the author of Growing Happy Kids: How to Foster Inner Confidence, Success and Happiness (HCI Books). She also continues to work directly with parents and kids around the country. More info: www.growinghappykids.com or @mdhealy