resolve conflict

A note from Alex: Welcome to the third post in a new five-part series, The Five Secrets of a Happy Marriage.

The following five secrets have worked very well in my marriage for more than 30 years. Follow these secrets and adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you’ll be on your way to having what we all want – a happy marriage.

1. Communicate
2. Meet each other’s needs
3. Learn to resolve conflicts
4. Grow with each other
5. Maintain a commitment to the marriage

Third Secret: Learn to Resolve Conflicts

An important characteristic that separates success from failure in a marriage is whether the relationship can resolve conflicts or not. Unless you and your partner are robots or doormats, there will be times when you disagree and times when these disagreements cause tension and pain.

There is no question you shouldn’t tolerate addiction, violence or abuse. But if your partner simply wants something different from you, or does something differently from you, doesn’t mean your partner is wrong – it just means your spouse has different preferences, life experiences and point of view.

Celebrate these differences.

Chances are good it is these very differences that made you fall in love with this person in the first place.

Would you be rather be right or happy?
Successful couples keep communicating, no matter what may be going on between them. They negotiate differences and disagreements so that they both end up getting something that is important to them. They smile and support each other rather than nag and complain. They understand that loving is more important than winning.

Unfortunately, some spouses do carry the attitude, “I’d rather be right than happy.” Therefore, they live a life of constantly trying to demonstrate they are always right. They must have the last word in an argument and prove their point to the extent it is hurtful and damaging to the other.

This type of behavior does not foster happiness in a relationship, it all breeds resentment. Instead, take a step back and learn to pick your battles. Drop insignificant issues in favor of maintaining harmony and balance in the marriage. Look to change the attitude to, “I just want to be happy.”

At the end of the day, when you are able to share a bed, touch each other as a symbolic gesture to the emotional commitment of love that exists in the marriage, you both win.

Victory is indeed sweet.

Image Source: Google images

About Alex Blackwell
Alex Blackwell is a father, husband and writer.

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