I will be the first to admit, it’s hard for me to quiet myself for any amount of time. Seems like I always have something to do and can’t sit still for too long. But our constant busyness is one reason we have too much stress. Recently, I blogged about physical ways to destress and […]
Is it time for a change? Maybe you want to lose those 10 pounds, quit smoking, limit social media, come home from work on time, etc. We all have something we want to change and need that extra push to do it. But change is not that easy.
Often what happens is that we start the change process and quickly lose steam. Yuck, another failure. We think, why even bother? Why is this so hard? Perhaps, you haven’t accurately assessed if you are ready to make a change. Change might be a good idea conceptually, but readiness to change makes the difference. So, before you diet for the 40th time, or try to limit your screen time once again, ask two important questions.
The first question is, how important is the change? Be honest. Are you doing this because someone else thinks you should, or because you feel guilty? To assess importance of a change, rate it on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being not important at all and 10 being the most important. If your rating is low (below a 5), you aren’t ready. Lack of importance means change is a low priority. It’s a set up for failure. For example, I asked a patient if he wanted to quit smoking. He said, “Not really, but my wife wants me too.” The more we talked, the more he told me that quitting smoking was not an important issue for him. He wasn’t ready to give up smoking with all the stress he was experiencing. He rated the importance as a 3.
The second question is, how confident are you that you can make a change? Your motivation to change can be very important, but if you lack confidence to make the change, it is a set up for failure. To assess your confidence, use that same 1-to 10 scale. If your confidence number is low, change will be hard to do. Let’s use our patient example again. Patient #2 tells me giving up smoking is a 9 out of 10 on the scale of importance. He really wants to stop. But, he rated his confidence to stop a 3 out of 10. His reason for low confidence was due to all his previous failed efforts to stop smoking. He needed a plan for success because he didn’t want to fail again. And that plan included all the barriers and challenges to stopping.
Whatever it is that you want to change, it needs to be important and you need to feel confident to make it happen. Otherwise, you probably are not ready to make a change. One way you can increase your readiness is to make a list of pros and cons for making a change. The pros should outweigh the cons. And the cons need to be considered, as they relate to your confidence.
And remember, pray and ask God to help you change. You have the power of the Holy Spirit in you to help with confidence. God in us is a powerful change agent. If change is important, don’t get discourage or give up. If confidence is your issue, enlist the power of the Holy Spirit along with a good plan to overcome the barriers to change.