Doing Life Together

woman-1209072_1920Are you looking at your nineteen-year-old and wondering when he will start “adulting?” He needs to wash his own sheets and go to bed before 11:00p.m.! And he definitely needs a full time job.

You think, will he will ever leave home? A part of you likes seeing him at family dinners and another part is questioning his slow move into adult independence. It’s time to move out and accept the responsibilities of a mature adult.

This trend of delaying the move to maturity has been growing in recent years. It seems that our culture has adapted what has been called a “slow life strategy.” It has to do with families having fewer children and changing economic times. Consequently, parents spend more time developing the growth of their children and children grow up more slowly.

It’s different than generations in the past. Maybe this isn’t a bad thing. Teens are getting more time to develop socially and emotionally before they date, or are exposed to alcohol, or work for pay. As a result, there have been fewer teens having sex and drinking. But the down side is that, while they may not be driving and getting in as many accidents, they are not  prepared for assuming adult responsibilities. Perhaps  a push towards the front door isn’t a bad thing either!

Millennials feel the pressure too! Adulting can be expensive. Many say they don’t make enough money to cover a medical emergency or rent a place to live. And let’s not even bring in the debt from student loans! But putting off adult responsibilities doesn’t prepare them for needed life skills that one really learns from doing. Maybe a little less “helicopter parenting” would have helped!

OK, so a few suggestions may be needed here. If you really want to do adulting:

  1. Stop going out to eat so often–you probably can’t afford it. You will save money and start developing needed cooking skills.
  2. Use a calendar to remind you of activities. You can no longer just rely on memory/parents to get you to important functions and meetings.
  3. Clean your room, apartment or living space. This is a form of discipline that actually improves mood and lessens stress. Disorganization and chaos are not ways to live.
  4. Own your failures and learn from them. Perhaps this is the most important because it requires taking responsibility for your actions.
  5. Learn to budget and buy only when you can afford something. You don’t need the latest iPhone!

It’s inevitable. Adulthood is coming! #AdultingCookingMyOwnMeal! #AdultingIsHard!



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