Doing Life Together

rose-3142660_1280My boss made a nice gesture at work. He gave gifts.  He passed out a single rose to all the employees and reminded us to not be so busy, we forget to smell the roses. And this gesture occurred days before Valentine’s Day.

One of my colleagues was trying to get everyone’s single rose to make a dozen for his wife. The man sitting next to me grumbled and said, “I don’t do Valentine’s Day. It’s stupid to designate one day of the year to do something for love. I ignore it.”

I think he missed the point and doesn’t understand the value of a gift-small or large. Of course we should be mindful of love expression through out the year. But a day to focus on love and give a gift does all relationships good.

  1.  The best gift is you.A gift is less about buying love or bargaining for something in a relationship. A gift is about the giver. Gifts are an expression of gratitude and love. You have someone in your life who chose you. Yes, you are flawed and perhaps even broken, yet someone picked you to do life. The person desired you and is now showing love in some form of a small gesture. Embrace it.  Gifts are tangible expressions of love. But they symbolize the love the person has for you. Focus on the giver who wants to show love.
  2. Love is not self-seeking. The fun of a gift is trying to figure out what the other person would appreciate and want. There is joy when you find that special something that makes the person smile and feel loved. Love is about giving to another person. It is sacrificial at times. The gift doesn’t have to cost a lot, rather it has meaning when you know how to please the other.  You anticipate their desires.  When you know what shows love to someone and you do it, that is gold.
  3. Quality and quantity of time. One of the five love languages is quality time. I would argue that time (quantity and quality) is something all of us need and want in a relationship. It takes time to get to know someone and be in tune with them. I once heard it said that you can’t make good tea by quickly dipping the tea bag in the water. The water won’t change to tea. This is true with relationships. Moments of togetherness will not create a deep relationship. You have to do more than dipping. You have to soak! So give the gift of time to the one you love. Soak in love.
  4. Give your heart. All of it, not just parts. When you become fully open to a relationship with someone, you lose control and are ruined (in a good way) by that person. Love is patient, kind and doesn’t boast or envy so true love is not frightening despite the loss of control. It always protects and perseveres. It doesn’t fail.  So this Valentine’s Day, think of your gift of words, time and money as tangible expressions of how you feel about a person who is in your life every day. Gifts simply symbolize a greater love that hopefully lives on and grows through out the year.
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