Doing Life Together

 ID-100361378Question: I married and had children very early.  I love being a mom but I just attended a high school reunion and felt a bit envious of all the things my classmates have accomplished.  I noticed my confidence dropped as I realized I didn’t measure up and had little to offer in the conversation.  How can I reconnect with a confident spirit amidst these feelings of low self-worth?

Maybe you are up to your neck in laundry and thinking, “Really, this is my life when all my friends seem to be doing so much,” but take that thought captive. Even when you are doing those menial tasks, you are home with your children, teaching and helping them grow in to productive adults. And trust me, that job has more life significance than securing a sale for your boss’ firm.

What you are doing is one of the most valuable roles you could ever play. You have, and are, accomplishing things of generational and eternal value. Every day when you love on your children and provide them a safe and secure home, you are setting the stage for success in their adult lives. And trust me, mothering skills translate to a number of job skills if you choose to go that direction at a later time.

Unfortunately, we live in a culture that places great emphasis on accomplishments unrelated to developing healthy family relationships. Yet, a safe and secure attachment for a child establishes his or her intimacy needs and attachments in adult life.  And your presence helps to create that secure attachment. So while you may feel you don’t measure up to your former classmates, you have grossly underestimated your enormous contribution to those you love and cherish!

And let’s be real, people tend to exaggerate their importance at reunions. There is something about those old high school dynamics that make us all feel competitive again. My guess is they might even envy what you are choosing to do!


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