Just like it is important to recognize the signs and symptoms of depression so people will seek treatment, it is also important to recognize the signs of recovery – what better feels like.

Hopelessness is a central symptom of depression and when in the midst of an episode, it is hard for people to believe that one day the darkness will lift and they will get better.

What better feels like

What better feels like uses the words of people who have “been there” – experienced depression and come out the other side. They answer questions like what is depression like? What are the signs of getting better? What helped and what didn’t? And what does better feel like?

To answer these questions, researchers in Canada interviewed 10 people from across the country about their journey to better. Their answers pretty much mirror what anyone who has experienced depression will tell you. Which just tells you that no matter what country you live in, or who you are, depression affects everyone the same way.

And if you think you’re alone, or no one has ever felt what you’re feeling now, or going through what you’re going through, STOP. You’re not alone. Better is possible. Please, if you or someone you know is suffering through these kinds of thoughts, take a look at What Better Feels Like.

Like any journey, there are things that help you. But on the flip side, there are things that don’t help. In fact, these things put you back in healing.

Some things that don’t help

1. Unsolicited advice. Well meaning, but irritating as heck. Things like take a bubble bath. Pull up your socks. Read a good book. Just lighten up. Calm down. Pull yourself together.

2. Ignoring depression.

3. Professionals who lecture, don’t take you seriously, or let you down.

John S: “Doctors who insist they know it all. They say, ‘You’re the patient and I’m the doctor. You will do as I say.’”

Anne: “It’s not helpful when you walk into the hospital and the staff don’t take you seriously. I had such physical pain and I was viewed as a hypochondriac. There is more education now about the association between physical pain and depression but at the time, the professionals would diminish these symptoms and that was extremely unhelpful.”

Lori: “In the hospital, we’d get up in the morning – they’re telling us breakfast is in 10 minutes so we scramble to the community room. The occupational therapist reads the newspaper out loud to us all. I know the point is to keep us up to date on current events. At those times, I am very vulnerable. The assumption is that we can’t even read. Then there is the schedule with the coloured tabs – because we can’t figure it out for ourselves. And then there is that voice – like she’s talking to children. Every one of us there is thinking, ‘Well, she is not doing this for me.’ I’m not that ill. I’m not as sick as the rest of them. This cannot be for my benefit.’ This creation of dependency breeds negativity. You’re eventually going to believe – this is for me after all.”

4. People doing everything for you.

5. Mis-diagnosis.

6. Friends that don’t want to hear you.

Heather: “While waiting for access to counseling services, I was given the suggestion to develop a ‘circle of care’ – friends and family members that I could ask to take turns helping me function so that no one person had to bear the full load of support. I believe that to be good in theory. However, I did approach people and watched them back away. That was difficult to experience, especially in my depressed state of mind. It was tough enough to ask for help but feeling that I could not be open about my struggles was not helpful at all.”

7. Unsupportive employers.

 

To read or download What Better Feels Like document GO HERE