When I was in grade school, we were asked to paint anything we wanted using the three colours yellow, blue, and red. People blended the colours and painted green fields with flowers. Me, I painted an ocean with the sun shining down upon a beach. I never thought about combining the colours, just using the ones I was given. I wasn’t wrong. My art was a perfect manifestation of my uniqueness.

Depression affects everyone in similar ways. How you respond to depression will always be decided by who you are at that moment. Your attitudes, perceptions, ideas – these are influenced and shaped moment by moment. Today you look outside and the world seems okay. A few minutes later, the exact same scenery and situation will look and feel horrible because in those few minutes your thoughts have made you believe you are useless or terrible.

Depression is an emotional maelstrom. One second you feel like you are on top of your world and then literally, the next second, you feel like you’re falling in an endless dark pit. Your emotions change from moment to moment. It’s like riding a terrible roller coaster you can’t get off.

But in all that confusion and pain, the core inner being who is you remains intact. You are a good soul. Someone who didn’t do anything wrong or bad. Someone who still has love and hope in his/her heart.

Even if you say you have no love or hope inside you, it’s there. You still love yourself to some degree because you’re fighting to stay alive. You still hang onto the one person who encourages you or who listens to your rants and ravings. Love can be like a crumb you find and eat slowly, savouring the moment. Hope still hovers inside your heart whenever you try something new to fight depression. Hope is there the minute you think “I can get through this” or “It will get better.” Even if you feel hopeless, hope sticks around you in the form of help from those who love you or from anyone who takes a moment to be with you.

Depression gives you one colour – black. In paint, black is the sum of all colours. You can paint your world black or you can leave some white in it. You might even be able to separate out some of the other colours that make up the black paint and see blues or greens. There’s always a choice, even with black.