In a recent conversation with a long time friend, the topic of weakness and power arose. Like many, she had experienced childhood bullying. Even as a woman in her 60s, she still feels like that shunned middle schooler when any type of perceived rejection arises. Not uncommon. As confident as I may appear, there are times when I find myself sliding back down the timeline when ‘kid fears’ arise. She was telling me about interaction with someone now who pushed those buttons for her and tumbling back she went. She caught herself before she went too far down the rabbit hole and we processed the experience and the next steps she wanted to take to regain her footing.

She noticed that she was reacting to this person as she had with someone from back in her pre-teen years. She (like me) tends to be a people pleaser and doesn’t want anyone to dislike her or disapprove of her. I asked her how important it was that this current person be in her inner circle and allow her opinion to overshadow her own. She admitted that it was not necessary. Then she spoke about the original series of events and the link to present day awareness. In both cases, she realized that speaking about her vulnerabilities did not make her weak, but indeed was a show of strength. She was flexing her inner power muscles by setting boundaries with the current person.

When I consider my own adventures in relating, I find myself being cautious so as not to step on toes. I do my best to think things through and imagine how I would want to be spoken to if I was on the receiving end of difficult information. I often practice in my mind how a conversation might go. As a recovering co-dependent, I cringe at the thought of people thinking I am anything other than kind and considerate.

Vulnerability is my growing edge. There are times when I want to hide my insecurities, so as to appear as if I have it all together. The work of sister Social Worker, Brene’ Brown inspires me to peel off the layers and reveal the real with my own inner power muscles pumped.