crankyboots

I am one of the most bliss-filled beings you would ever want to meet. On any given day, I wake up smiling, grateful for my many blessings. I laugh in the shower, since becoming a Certified Laughter Yoga Leader. I have a friend who says I don’t douse myself with glitter,  for colorful effect, but rather, it comes from my pores.  I have no problem being silly, acting like a goofy kid (my father used to call me that from time to time). I find myself musing about the absurd sense of humor the Universe has and sometimes, I even get the Cosmic Joke, although it often seems I am the brunt of it. Many’s the time I have scratched my head, wondering, “Who thought this one up?” This is when, as one of my former clients would pose, I ponder, “What do you do when life gets lifey?” I come from hardy and hearty stock. My parents would go with the flow, roll with the punches, ride the tide. Sometimes I wondered how they did it without get seasick or punch drunk. I learned from these Masters of Life, although they would deny that they had reached that lofty position. I know I tend to idealize them, even now (nine years after my father’s death and seven years after my mother’s).

Lately, I have been ascribing to the precept, “We make plans and God laughs,” I would like to think it isn’t true since I believe in a Divine energy that is not capricious or cruel. And yet, I have noticed that when I have a solid, ‘it’s gotta be this way,’  plan, detours can show up unexpectedly. In the past few weeks, a potential romantic encounter went awry (or maybe it never was meant to be anyway), the transmission going kaput on my 2008 Jeep Patriot that has seen me through many a journey since I purchased it in 2011 (my first for cash as part of my inheritance after my mom died, so it has sentimental value as well).  In it, I have traveled twice to Canada and many times to Virginia from my home near Philadelphia. Like a caring parent, I invested much into it. Sadly, the return on the investment is nowhere near what I put into it and it was becoming evident that it needed to be surrendered for something new. I am being called on to take my time and research and then patiently make the best decision for a replacement. In the meanwhile, I rented a car for a week and then was offered the opportunity to borrow a friend’s extra car. Feeling like guardian angels are watching over me in this experience, but still giggling, wondering what I will do next.

The second WTF? experience occurred when my trusty laptop got infected with a virus. I worried about purchasing a new one at the same time as the car. AND my computer is a tool for my livelihood. I reached out to my computer guru dude friend, Eric who somehow worked magic and got it fully operational in a matter of days, which is why you are reading these words now.  WHEW!

In the midst of all of this, I still needed to do normal people stuff, like seeing my clients, facilitating workshops, going to the gym, and keeping up with my housework. As a result, even as the challenges are being resolved, I found myself feeling easily irritated and kind of cranky. I was getting impatient with friends, even when they were attempting to be helpful. I wanted nothing more than to hurry home from long days at work and tumble into bed in jammies at 8 pm. Being irritable (not quite reaching the ‘pissy and miserable’ stage, thank goodness), is not a comfortable state for me. I much prefer Little Mary Sunshine mode, even though it can’t be expected all the time. It just feels better in my body to allow the lighter emotions to take hold. Sometimes I allow myself to have mini meltdowns and throw a pity party for myself. I don’t stay long when I realize I am the only guest there.

At this point, I am ready to lively up myself.

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