What if what we truly desire is as close as our thoughts?  How about the idea that our minds are like Velcro dartboards, or as I like to call them ‘heartboards’ that attract what we focus on? Over the years, I have marveled about the things I have intended that have come to be a here and now reality. When in the midst of the creation process, I have become impatient, wishing for things to happen more quickly. I need to remind myself that my timing and God’s is not always in alignment.

What happens when I choose peace and happiness over turmoil and chaos?  Magic. Wonder. Exquisite events. What happens when I experience spiritual amnesia and forget all of that? I can tell you first hand that it ain’t pretty. And I can admit that it is what I have been through over the last few days. Upped the ante on anxiety like, oh 1000%. Not prone to that state of emotion. I am not inclined to depression either, but have felt as if I was drowning in sadness. Major changes in many areas of my life. Was a walking waterworks. Crying at the drop of a hat. Hard-pressed to find my joy. Even the Bliss Mistress gets the blues. I continued to up level my vibration. I imagined myself seeing my way clear of the impediments that felt daunting and nearly impossible to overcome. I walked, danced, drummed, prayed and wrote my way through the jungle, mental machete’ at the ready.

This song perfectly reflects a key concept in the process.

“I’ve decided to be happy
I’ve decided to be glad
I’ve decided to be grateful
For all I ever had
I’ve decided to let go…
Of all this pain tonight
I’ve decided to let go
Of all these demons inside

My own determined demons have roared that I am either not enough of one thing or too much of something else.  They have snarled that no one is strong enough to support me the way I have carried others. They have sneered that I won’t be successful in all areas of my life and that ultimately, I will be alone.

Simultaneously, I am willing to accept the messages that remind me that gratitude is the key that opens the doors to my deepest heart longings and fervent desires.