I was an inquisitive child who asked a ton of questions, and in adulthood, my mother told me that my sister never had to ask because I did it first. Many of them were about sex and most were at the dinner table. According to my dad, he would blush and say to my mom, […]
Most of us are at a loss when it comes to expressing how we feel about one of the most Divine experiences human beings can have. We are given mixed messages from parent figures, from the media, from religion. Not much is positive. The reality is, we were born into bodies that have sensory apparatus that attract pleasure. We also long for connection to each other. Enter ….. S-E-X. It’s how humans create more humans. It is how we express love and desire. It can also be a deeply transcendent spiritual experience. Have you ever called out “Oh God,” in the midst of orgam?
So why the hullaballoo? Shasta Townsend encourages us to celebrate it fully, without hiding
Shasta is a writer, yoga teacher and workshop facilitator who teaches what she refers to as “embodied spirituality.” She is the author of Happy, Sexy, Shameless: What Our Mothers Didn’t Know about the Birds and The Bees. From the outset, she questions:
-Can we as women embrace a positive relationship to sexuality when so many women still live in states of violence, sexual exploitation and fear every day, including perhaps those reading this book?
-Can we as women truly heal from thousands of years of patriarchy and step into a time of healing and cooperation with men? Can men step into this too?
-Do we even believe we can have a great sexual experience or know how to create it as women?
In a radio interview on It’s All About Relationships, Townsend expressed that she, like most women didn’t receive much helpful information from her mother. That absence leaves feelings of shame and unworthiness that lingers throughout our lifetimes.
She contemplates: “Am I a good girl if I am interested in sex? An overwhelming message is that women should be ashamed of sexuality. Many spiritual traditions teach this.” It dramatically impacted on her otherwise happy marriage as she found herself pulling away, until her husband reminded her how important intimacy was to sustain the love between them. Fortunately, the wake up called deepened their relationship and gave her a new mission, that of encouraging women and men as well, to embrace their sexuality.
When sex is discussed, it generally is more about ‘how to’, than ‘why to’. She wishes that her mother “had conversation about sexuality being a means of connection and intimacy.”
Townsend offered “Being a fully integrated person incorporates sexuality and can diminish the feelings of shame, confusion and self-hatred. There is shame that our bodies should look a certain way.
She adds there is a “fear of judgment that we carry.” When we open communication with each other and within ourselves, we allow for the freedom to enjoy the full expression of healthy sexuality.”