“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
Question submitted via Formspring:
“Hello, Dave; I have a foot fetish, and I am scared to tell my girlfriend of 4 months about it. I’m scared that when she finds out, she’ll get grossed out. Should I tell her? And is there something wrong with me? I’ve had it since I can remember.”
The simple answer is: no, there is nothing wrong with you; and yes, you should tell her.
It is true that having a foot fetish (being sexually aroused by feet, for the uninitiated), may be unusual, but it’s probably more common than you’d think. Add to that, it’s a relatively harmless thing to be turned on by; it’s not like you are into hurting people, or children, or something illegal.
As for why you should tell her, the reason is simple: if you can’t communicate, you don’t have a relationship. Healthy intimacy is the foundation of a romantic relationship; without that, you are just friends. And if you are keeping something from her, something you feel is ‘wrong’ with you no less, then you are always going to have a big block in your communication and your intimacy; not good.
The fact that it’s only been four months is actually a good thing; since if she IS totally grossed out by it, you won’t have wasted years with someone who is sexually incompatible with you.
The real challenge will be how you reveal it to her; don’t just blurt out I “I have a foot fetish”, or turn on a foot fetish DVD. My suggestion is give her an absolutely mind blowing foot massage, and proceed to give her the most enjoyable sexual experience of her life; do every little thing you know she enjoys, and make it all about her.
And when she is lying there, as exhausted as she is satisfied, just casually mention, “I don’t know why, but something about feet just really turns me on”.
Once she sees what’s in it for her, you’ll never have another problem with it!
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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