“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
(Unedited) Question submitted via Formspring:
“I caught a sight love with my instructor, he doesn’t know .The course is over months back, I still think he is the perfect one. I pulled his pic from facebook and talk to it everyday as if he’s there. I don’t have the guts to tell him. What shall I do?”
One very important thing to say up front:
This question has two *very* different answers depending on how old you are.
If you are still in middle school, high school, or even the University, then the answer is let it go and move on. It’s completely normal to feel an attraction to a person in a position of authority, especially if they were nice to you. But it’s *not* really appropriate to act on that, and in fact they probably have rules against it. So you are much better off trying to find someone your own age that you can have a relationship with.
Now, if you are older (say 25 and up); or this was a short class or seminar you took and the instructor is less than 10 years older than you are, then it may be worth going for.
IF this is the case, start talking to him on Facebook; give him a chance to get to know you as a person, and you a chance to know him, too. He may not be who you thought he was based on your ‘sight love’. Once you connect as individuals, (and he thinks it is appropriate), he may start trying to pursue a relationship with you.
Remember, though, your job is to only start the conversation; NOT chase him. Since not only does chasing guys not work, but he may not be able or willing to date his ex-students (I wouldn’t); he may be seeing someone, he may think you are too young or 100 other things.
Overall, a better plan is to figure out what it is you liked about him, and start working to attract that guy into your life.
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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