“What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”― Robert F. Kennedy First, a confession: Although I pride myself on my ability to dialog and find a common […]
Question submitted via Formspring.me:
“Hi Dave, do you have any advice on controlling moods.
Today was a kinda off day for me. A guy was trying to flirt with me at the grocery store, and I completely blew him off. He said hi and smiled at me, I said hi back in a not so friendly way! LOL”
We’ve discussed how to feel happy in an instant (with a video on how to do it) already, so here let us discuss how to control your feelings rather than be controlled by them.
The number one thing to keep in mind is: just because a thought pops into your head, doesn’t mean you have to believe it!
Remember, your emotions are supposed to be a navigation system; a way to know if you are on or off track.
The challenges arrive when you start trying to let emotions make your decisions; that is your Conscious Mind’s job.
Let’s look at a standard situation: say you get yelled at at work, and you leave an go to the grocery store. A nice guy comes up and says hi, and you snap at him since you’re still irritable from before, and you end up missing out.
Or, when confronted with the situation at work, you can take a step back.
Ask what’s going on with your boss that made her come down on you like that. Maybe she’s got her own problems at home, or her boss just came down on *her *. Maybe in her mind she didn’t come down too hard at all, and didn’t mean to upset you at all. Maybe she really DIDN’T come down too hard, and you are overreacting because you are too sensitive.
The only thing you can say for certain is, your boss said what they said, and you made it mean what you made it mean.
The specific answer to your question, then, on how to control your mood is to choose to control your mood! Be aware of what is triggering you, and what the hidden meaning behind it is. If something is making you mad, figure out what it is and deal with the REAL issue. If something is scaring you, remember fear is a call to preparation: get ready for it and then release the fear.
Consciously choose not to take out your own aggression and frustration on others, even though they may do it to you. Resolve today to take yourself off autopilot, and start looking at the cause and consequences of your words and actions before you take them.
The ability to still make choices and not be dominated by our emotions is what sets us above the animals.
What do you think they should do? Feel free to comment down below!
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B. Dave Walters
Writer, Life Coach, and Talk Radio Host
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