Aperture of Light

A few thoughts on love and what it was truly made to be.  From the article, The Greatest Love of All.

“The strongest thematic message in the Bible, which contains the Word of God, is God’s love. Everything revolves around God’s love. God, who created the universe by His Word, is the source of love, which is love in its truest, purest and perfect form.

In the love of God, let us come to an understanding of His Word. When asked what the Bible is about, many people could not readily respond. What is the Bible about? The Bible is about God’s love. While it is true that the Bible speaks about sin and forgiveness or death and salvation, this is because of one Biblical truth: God’s love.”

We cannot truly experience what love is supposed to be until we know Jesus.  I know that I have searched many places, trying to find what love really is.  Sometimes we try to depend on other people for that fulfillment.  The simple fact is, people, because they are human beings, will disappoint us.  I absolutely believe in falling in love.  I have been in love and know how amazing that can be.  But I also learned the hard lesson, that putting the one you love above God will ultimately fail.  And putting God above all can only let you love others more deeply.  As we grow in our understanding of Him, we grow in love.

When you enter into a relationship centered around God, you no longer depend on that person to be everything that you need.  Yes of course we can love each other deeply, sacrifice for each other, learn from each other and carry each others burdens, but we also have to remember that we are not perfect and neither is the other person.  If we rely on that person to be things that he or she is not physically, emotionally or spiritually able to be, we end up frustrated and disappointed, which so many times leads to hard breaks.  We end up taking until we can’t take anymore, not so much out of selfishness, but out of the aching for love and meaning that lies in the depths of every person’s heart.  Having God at the center allows a relief of these expectations and ultimately allows us to freely love each other the way that we were designed to.

I am not married but I have a lot of friends who are.  I have been there through their meeting, dating, engagement and now marriage.  I have learned so much from a lot of them and it has been so encouraging to see God at the center of their relationships.  I can see their love for each other, how they have developed patience and trust.  A friend of mine who recently got married said something to me that really changed my way of thinking about a Godly relationship.  I don’t even remember how we got on the topic, but she told me that she and (her boyfriend at the time, now husband) loved each other very much and she very much wanted to marry him, but she didn’t depend on his love and he didn’t depend on hers.  She said that because they had built their relationship with God in the center, if the relationship were to end, it would be ok.  I was like, “Wait, what??  You would be okay with it ending?”  She said again that she absolutely wanted to be with him but having God at the center meant that she would be ok if things didn’t work out because they didn’t depend on each other (for their happiness, etc).  That ultimate fulfillment came from God and only God.

This was hard for me to grasp at first.  I had come out of a relationship with a guy that I loved very deeply, but I realized we had been depending on each other way too much for the kinds of fulfillments that only Christ can bring.  Things often come about that are beyond our (humanly) control and if we are expecting our significant other to fix the problem, we are mistaken.  When we cross those boundaries that Jesus has for us, we fall.  We are to be there for each other and love each other, but again, a relationship without Jesus is not built on stone.  I think it is important to understand this in relationships.  Praying with each other, growing spiritually and being honest about where we are with our walk with God is crucial, in my opinion.  But don’t be afraid to be yourself.  Finding freedom in Christ allows you to be you to fullest and to share that love with him or her and the world!  We are not cookie-cutters.  We are unique human beings and we want to be loved for everything that we are.

“Let your love for each other be a reflection of Jesus’ love and an example of how we are to love one another.”

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity in him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth”  – I John 3:16-18

.Jesus said: “If anyone loves Me, he will obey My teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching” (John 14:23-24)

Paul described love this way. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” -I Corinthians 13:4-8.

I do what to re-emphasize that people are not perfect.  We give each other grace and we are not expected to be perfect.  That is why we need Jesus.  He has abounding love and grace.  We will never run dry.

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