How to Surf Through Life

By Jaimal Yogis

Being alive means movement and change, and in modern life, more often than not, our minds are more like a stormy sea than anything resembling one of those still ponds reflecting moonlight the Zen masters like to write into poems. Just sitting down to meditate can feel like drowning. But looking at life--and meditation practice--through the eyes of a surfer, where the big waves are simply part of the game, can change everything. Here are a few steps to help you surf through life's many swells–big, small, gnarly, perfect.

How to Surf Through Life: Step 1...

Jaimal Yogis is the author of Saltwater Buddha: A Surfer's Quest to Find Zen on the Sea.

Observe the Winds

Any surfer worth his or her salt knows you can't paddle out without first knowing the wind conditions. Strong onshore winds make the ocean's surface too choppy and give the waves bad form. The mind is a direct parallel. When our breath is fast and forceful, shallow or panicked, our thoughts are usually all over the place. So remember to check in with the condition of your internal winds, your breath. This kind of observation will often calm your breath on its own, smoothing it out, making the waves of thought more clear, and ultimately, more surfable. But even if it doesn't, don't worry. It's not personal. The winds are mysterious things. They come and go with the seasons and are always, always changing. Accept them as they are today.

Observe the Swells

The winds on the beach affect the ocean's surface just like breath can affect surface thoughts or moods. But swells, the big waves that we actually surf, are created by winds from storms in the distance that can't even be seen. A storm in New Zealand, for example, sends pulsing swells across the ocean that end up breaking on California's shores. I liken swells to our emotions and motivations: our aspirations, fears, desires, and hopes. That's because these very powerful surges are often formed by the winds of memory in the unconscious – winds that we don't see in front of us all the time but that are deeply affecting our present lives. Just accept and enjoy the view from the dunes. You'll be surfing soon.

It's All Just Saltwater

Before diving in, notice something about these swells as they grind against the sand and form into breaking waves. They appear so real, so solid – maybe even scary. And indeed, one of those big waves can do some serious damage if you let it break on top of you. But if you really get a good look at a wave traveling toward shore, it is not made of static water at all. It is simply spiraling energy – technically the memory of wind transferring between molecules – passing through the medium of saltwater. Watch closely and you'll notice that very little water is actually moving. And when the wave crashes, all that energy is dispersed and blends back into the sea: recycled, reincarnated. Now watch your thoughts and emotions. Watch how quickly they rise and fall, new ones constantly crashing, trying to get your full attention, trying to wrap you in their force and hold you down.

Pick a Surfboard

There are as many styles of surfboards as there are meditation techniques out there. Their basic purpose is essentially the same, but each one is unique and highly specialized for the individual. At first, this is overwhelming. Just like surfboard shapers who claim their boards are the best, there are spiritual teachers everywhere claiming they've got the fast track to enlightenment. Don't believe any of them! (Especially the ones making those claims.) Just like surfboards, there's no one formula for picking a meditation technique. But education is good. Read about the techniques you're intuitively drawn toward. Take a few classes. Start simple. In surfing, for example, it's best to start with a longboard, which happens to be the old style of surfing that the ancient Polynesians used. You might equate longboarding to following your breath. Nothing fancy. But it works. And the breath is always there. Learn that technique solidly and get in the habit of following your breath everyday, even when you're not meditating. The board is just a vehicle. Don't be one of those surfers carrying your surfboard around the beach trying to look cool. Get in the water and surf!

Get in Shape

Paddle, Paddle, Paddle. Or…Practice, Practice, Practice. Surfing is nothing but work if you only do it once in a while. You have to be in peak physical shape just to paddle through the whitewash. Similarly, meditation is incredibly challenging at first. We're not taught to be still. Not to worry. Be disciplined and practice every day for a small, manageable amount of time (20 minutes might be good to start) and before you know it, meditation becomes enjoyable, even blissful. If you sit every day, even when your mind is stormy, like a seasoned surfer, eventually you'll be able to have a blast getting pummeled and tossed about. And when it's calm with a light off-shore breeze, perfect waves peeling down the line, you'll be shredding in blissful contentment.

Enjoy Surfing, Just Don't Latch On

So there you are: bobbing in the big swells. You're in shape. Oh yeah. Uh huh. This is the life! Until you get completely thumped by your first wave. Patience. Don't chase after every single wave like an overeager 12-year-old. Watch, observe. Use your instincts. Not all waves are ridable. And just like the sea, our minds are full of all kinds of strange thoughts and emotions. Some of them are beautiful. Perhaps you're enjoying the sun on a gorgeous beach, maybe you're in love. Cool. That's exciting. You can ride that wave. Life is hard. But there is also real joy in life. And if you want to appreciate a good wave, do it. The only caveat is that, like a surfer, you also have to accept that the wave is fleeting. It's going to pass by and, guess what, you've got to paddle back out.

Let the Bad Waves Pass

Of course, there will also be ugly waves: close-outs, waves that are too crowded, warbled frothy monsters. Perfect surf days are about as rare as days you wake up feeling ecstatic about going to work. And even when the conditions are great, interestingly enough, there are a lot more waves to pass on in surfing (and in life) than there are good waves to ride. So learn to recognize the negative waves your mind churns out again and again. When you see a gnarly swell of fear, insecurity, jealousy, or anger approaching, relax. Let it pass, or duckdive under it. At first, this is easier said than done. We're so greedy for experience that we like to chase the waves constantly, even the bad ones. It takes a whole lot of beatings to learn to be patient and wait for the right one. Just remember, once a bad wave takes you down, the worst thing you can do is fight it. Relax until the wave has released you of its grip. Know that it will pass. Surface when it lets you go, and paddle back out with a smile.

Appreciate the Time Between Waves

A very small percentage of each surf session is spent actually surfing. Most of it you're paddling or sitting there, waiting. A perfect recipe for a bad session is to expect that you're going to get endless perfect waves. Similarly, no matter how prepared you are to reach perfect Buddhahood when you sit down to meditate, most of an average meditation session is spent pretty unfocused, getting lost in thoughts that aren't worth riding. That's ok. The more you can stay in the present, with the breath or your technique, the more you can begin to appreciate the time between good waves, and even time spent lost in thought. It sounds impossible, but when you gain more awareness, even when you're lost in thought you can learn to keep some balance, to be mindful that you're lost in thought. "Ok, this is how it is now – lost in thought."

The Waves Are the Stillness

Thoughts are part of life like waves are part of the ocean. You may get a moment or two in your life of utter stillness. Right on. Just don't expect it to last. But look into the essence of waves and there is always complete equanimity. And the waves don't have to cease for you to realize that equanimity. In essence, the waves are the stillness. "Form is emptiness; emptiness is form." So (as I write in my book, Saltwater Buddha): "Enough talk of tepid, serene pools reflecting moonlight. Let us speak of waves, of glassy ocean surfaces enlivened with surging swells. If waves are the practice of water, and thoughts the practice of mind, wouldn't it be wonderful if we all learned to surf."

Happy paddling. And happy surfing.