Memorable Movie Aliens

Memorable Movie Aliens: The Good, the Bad, and the Really, Really Ugly

By Paul Asay

We are not alone.

That's what we've always suspected, anyway. Millennia before anyone strung barbed wire around Area 51, we believed that strange creatures sometimes stopped by earth for a visit. Sometimes we've considered them as angelic beings, dropping by to teach us lessons, offer words of warning, or share a bowl of soup—just to make sure we're treating guests as we ought. Other times we see them as sinister demons lurking in forests, under bridges, or in the dark recesses of our imagination, ever eager to steal our kids, possess our bodies, and generally make our lives miserable.

In honor of the latest cinematic extraterrestrial invasion to hit earth—DreamWorks' "Monsters vs. Aliens"—here are the 11 most memorable extraterrestrial visitors. Some are nice, some are nasty: We'll rank them by how much danger they present. If they snag a "3" or below, they're reasonably safe to invite over for dinner. If they rate an "8" or above, chances are you'll be the main course.

The Antereans from 'Cocoon' (1985)

Danger Level: 0 ("I can swim in your pool AND have eternal life? Nifty!")

They say exercise can make you feel younger. But when a handful of retirees splash around in a pool at a seemingly deserted estate, they discover they feel positively ageless.

Turns out, the estate's owned by members of an alien race called the Antereans—the folks who lived in Atlantis but now just want to go home. The pool is powered by some Anterean cocoons: Sure, the water may turn you all pruny, but it actually turns back the clock. Soon these aged scalawags are feeling like teens again, and the kindly Anterean landowners let them frolic to their hearts content. Fernando De Soto, eat your heart out.

But the fun couldn't last forever. Eventually, the senior pool party comes crashing down, leaving the pool powerless and the Antereans unable to take their cocoons back home. Ever the genial hosts, though, they offer some seniors a chance to hitch a ride with them to the farthest reaches of the galaxy—an otherworldly heaven, if you like, or an eternal cruise without the bad buffet food.

E.T. from 'E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial' (1982)

Danger level: 1 (Alien visitor as plush toy)

E.T. likes candy, flowers, and old movies. He goes trick-or-treating, plays dress-up and is, frankly, about as frightening as the standard Care Bear. The only reason he even gets a "1" on our scale is—well, those flying bicycles just don't look very safe.

But E.T.'s inherent cuteness doesn't stop humanity from covering his earth pad in plastic wrap, tossing him on a gurney and poking him mercilessly with all manner of scientific instruments. It's almost like he was the guy who was abducted. But that doesn't matter: E.T. doesn't hold grudges, and before he leaves our planet for "home," he teaches us all something about kindness, friendship, and family, telling us that all the technology in the world can't match that little glowing heart we have inside us.

Klaatu from 'The Day the Earth Stood Still' (1951)

Danger level: 2 ("I come in peace! Really!")

He can shut off the world's electricity faster than you can say "Klaatu barada nikto." His wingman is a robot named Gort. But don't let that scare you: Klaatu is the Mother Teresa of aliens, eager to befriend small children, hand out free diamonds, and gently give the earth a timely message.

Unfortunately, we humans hate surprise visits. When Klaatu steps outside his spaceship to give humanity a gift, a nervous soldier shoots him—and things just go downhill from there. Eventually we kill the guy, though Gort manages to resurrect him and Klaatu (whose Christ-like attributes are strengthened by his earth-bound alias, "Mr. Carpenter,") finally gets to deliver his message: "Stop shooting everybody all the time. Or else."

Aliens from 'Contact' (1997)

Danger level: 3 ("You want me to get in that?")

It's unlikely that real aliens would throw a mixer at the neighborhood swimming pool. "Contact," based on a book written by famed scientist Carl Sagan, is supposed to be a more realistic view of what our first encounter with an alien race might look like. And, in Sagan's eyes, it looks an awful lot like heaven.

Granted, first contact doesn't get off to an auspicious start. The aliens' first broadcast to humanity contained embedded footage of Adolph Hitler. And when we figure out they want us to build a massively expensive … something … it's hard not to be a little suspicious.

But when Dr. Eleanor Arroway hops into the alien-designed contraption, she's whisked away through a wormhole to a planet orbiting the star Vega—and finds that it looks suspiciously like Pensacola, Fla. The first alien she meets resembles her father. The Veganites felt, apparently, that a familiar face might make Ellie feel more comfortable.

Tunnel? Check. Bright lights? Check. Dead relatives? Hmmmm...

Aliens from '2001: A Space Odyssey' (1968)

Danger Level: 4 (How dangerous can a big, black brick be?)

OK, so technically, we don't meet aliens in the landmark film "2001" (or, at least, we don't think we do). Instead, we just stumble upon their mysterious, almost sentient creations—black, monolithic slabs that apparently give human evolution a kick in the rump.

Evolutionary advancement is good, right? Well, try telling that to the boar in the landmark opening sequence, killed by an ape-like creature who (thanks, apparently, to the monolith's prodding) starts using a femur as a club. Or to the scientists who dig up a monolith on the moon and are subjected to an ear-blasting squeal that apparently comes from its inky depths. Even Dr. David Bowman might not have been completely thrilled that the monolith turned him into a giant fetus.

"2001" is one of the murkiest sci-fi movies ever made. But here's one conclusion we can draw: Enlightenment, even if it has extraterrestrial origins, can be kinda painful.

Aliens from 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' (1977)

Danger Level: 5 ("Abducting them? We were just borrowing them!")

Once we saw the big-eyed aliens step out of their bright, musically hip spaceship, we knew they were nice enough—not the sorts of fellows who would zap you with ray guns or burst out of your rib cages. They looked, in fact, something like E.T.—only without the telescopic neck and the nice, deep tan.

But before we get too carried away, let's remember that the aliens in "Close Encounters" did kidnap a number of humans and take them on surprise jaunts around the galaxy—a temporary rapture that stirred much anxiety for those "left behind." It's one thing if you're an old retiree who's been invited on board. It's quite another if you're a 6-year-old boy who opens the front door and is promptly whisked away to who-knows-where.

So thanks for dropping by, mysterious alien friends. But next time, call ahead.

The Thermians from 'Galaxy Quest' (1999)

Danger Level: 6 ("Waddya mean there are no retakes?!")

Cinematic aliens, be they good or evil, are often portrayed as superior to us mere humanoids. Sure, we may have our unquenchable spirit and joie de vivre and all that going for us, but in a science fair faceoff, most aliens can kick our collective butts. After all, they're the ones visiting us, right?

In "Galaxy Quest,' humanity gets the drop on the galaxy, and a kitschy human sci-fi program serves as inspiration for an entire civilization. To the Thermians, who recreate the world of the (fictional) TV show "Galaxy Quest" from old reruns, we're the guardian angels. Unfortunately, we kinda stink at it.

While the Thermians are decent enough, the rest of the galaxy seems rather peevish and hostile. Nevertheless, the combined dangers in "Galaxy Quest" only rate a 6 on our chart: Really, if a handful of washed-up actors can save the day, surely the rest of humanity is equal to the task.

Aliens from 'Signs' (2002)

Danger Level: 7 (Poison gas? Camouflage skin? Oh my.)

If only tin foil hats could protect us from the hostile aliens in this Hitchcockian thriller from M. Night Shyamalan. These long-legged visitors don't want to play dress-up. They don't want to save us from ourselves. No, they come as conquerors, bent on turning our planet into—well, who knows what sort of living hell.

But, while these aliens can hide in cornfields and spray poison gas from their wrists with the best of them, humanity does eventually, um, "foil" their plans. One critical linchpin: The aliens react poorly to water—an issue you'd think would've come up in invasion discussions, considering 70 percent of our planet is covered with it. But watching this spiritually soaked film, we can't help but wonder whether there were other, more resonant reasons the aliens were repulsed, too—reasons molded by a far stronger hand.

Aliens from 'War of the Worlds' (2005)

Danger Level: 8 ("Welcome to our pla—ZAP!")

Does Steven Spielberg know something we don't? In 1977, he gave us pale, musical aliens who returned long-lost abductees. In 1982, he gave us the cutest interplanetary visitor ever—tribbles included.

But by 2005, Spielberg was going apocalyptic, remaking H.G. Wells' 1898 book (and a classic 1953 movie) about invading extraterrestrials that want to take over our planet and exterminate humanity like cockroaches.

But you can't keep a good cockroach down. Wells' original book has been interpreted by some as a warning against embracing evolutionary theory too slavishly: Wells' Martians, while intellectually superior, clearly were missing something else—the emotional, moral, and spiritual oomph that makes us human. But in the end, even with all of our human gumption, it was microbial disease that brought down these goliaths—a lesson in humility if ever there was.

Pod People from 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' (1956)

Danger Level: 9 ("Maude? Is that you?")

Forget ray guns and poison gas. What we should really worry about is finding mysterious pods in our basement. That's the message of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," a creepy Cold War parable that keeps viewers awake (if they're lucky) to this day.

The story takes place in the sleepy town of Santa Mira, Calif., where some residents feel as if their closest friends and family members have become strangers to them. Could it be the result of the ups and downs of daily life? Growing emotional distance due to modern technology? Ha! Don't you wish. As it turns out, these strangely distant Santa Mirans are, in fact, alien doppelgangers, sprouted and sprung from extraterrestrial pods while their human templates slept.

While many have interpreted this sci-fi classic as either a statement on Communism or McCarthyism, "Body Snatchers" also harkens back to earlier days, when many people worried about demon possession. And no wonder they worried: Nothing's creepier than realizing that the people you love and trust most aren't quite what they seem.

Alien from 'Alien' (1979)

Danger Level: 10 ("Run for your ARGHBLCHBJBCH!")

We've seen angel-like aliens. We've seen Christ-like aliens. But when it comes to out-of-this-world demonic critters, nothing tops this guy.

The original "Alien" alien is a creature from nightmare. Based on the fevered artwork of H.R. Giger (he actually designed the movie beast), the full-grown monster is a dark rumination on techno-erotica—a three-way cross between a stripper, a lizard, and a car engine that's gone really, really bad. In the film, we're told the alien is near evolutionary perfection, an advanced life form if ever there was one. Yet it's driven by the most basic desires—to eat and reproduce—and both involve a lot of bloodshed.

"I can't lie to you about your chances," says Ash, the evil human facsimile in "Alien." "But you have my sympathies." Confronted with a beast like this, we can only hope that Klaatu's around to save the day.