Intimate Encounters: Decoding the Secrets of Body Language
It is almost impossible for human beings not to communicate their innermost thoughts. In many cases body language, eye contact, and sexual gestures are more effective than verbal communication. Learning to interpret body language can help you discern what people are really saying. Body language reveals many of our most intimate feelings, whether we intend to confide them or not. From simple eye contact to a light touch on the leg, body gestures are a very direct form of communication. In a romantic relationship, reading the cues correctly is critical.
The Eyes Have It
Eye contact is the most effective nonverbal communication tool we use, so it's not surprising to find it's also the most common initial sexual advance. Eyes can reveal sparked interest, fantasy, or disinterest. We initiate eye contact every day, in places as disparate as the subway, the office, the supermarket, and the bedroom.A simple, universal way to show someone that you are interested in them sexually is to make eye contact—by making eye contact you make it easier for him or her to respond to you. When speaking in person, look at him or her directly, not over a shoulder or down at the floor. To show your interest across a room, hold your glance longer than you would in an ordinary social situation. Do not overdo it, though. Most people find anything more than intermittent eye contact (five seconds out of every 30) uncomfortable or threatening and will probably look away. You can assume some mutual interest if he or she returns your gaze steadily.When your glance is recognized and welcomed, the recipient may move in a way that "opens up" the body, giving you more to look at. Perhaps he will stand sideways and push up his sleeves or lean back against the wall with his torso slightly pushed forward. Or she might place her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, or playfully push her hair back off her forehead.Other encouraging responses include raised eyebrows, eyes that are wide open, or fluttering of the eyelashes. If you are looking at each other for longer and longer periods and moving closer in toward each other, that is a definite mating call. You can test this by moving slightly closer and noting whether the person moves closer in or draws further way.If your initial contact is not welcome, the person you are looking at may try to shield themselves from your view or try to create a barrier between you. Hence, if the object of your attention suddenly disappears into the crowd or abruptly crosses her arms or legs, she is saying "you're going too fast for me", or "I am not interested right now."