Guilty as Charged! Now What?
Guilty pleasures. Guilty conscience. Guilt trips. As a society, we seem to be consumed by guilt, or at least with eliminating it from our lives. It is the topic of thousands of books. You can cook without guilt. Diet without guilt. Eat chocolate or fried foods without guilt. Parent your children without guilt. Be a guilt-free working parent or a guilt-free single parent. Be a guilt-free golfer. But should we really be trying to get rid of all of our guilt? And what happens when our guilt turns into shame?
Knowing the Difference Between Guilt and ShameThe words guilt and shame are often used to express the same sentiment. However, the two emotions are quite different. The standard definition of guilt is:
- The fact of being responsible for wrongdoing or a crime
- A feeling of responsibility for having done something wrong
- A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace
- A condition of disgrace or dishonor
Ways to CopeWhether you are experiencing guilt or shame, there are methods available to help you cope. Consider using some of these strategies:
- Recognize your guilt or shame.
- Ask for forgiveness and make amends to those you have hurt.
- Talk with friends, family members, or a therapist about your feelings of guilt or shame. It may help to talk to someone who has had a similar experience.
- Allow yourself time to overcome your guilt and shame. In most cases, the feelings won't go away overnight.
American Psychological Association
Mental Health America
Canadian Psychiatric Association
Canadian Psychological Association
Burgo J. The difference between guilt and shame. Psychology Today website. Available at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shame/201305/the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame. Accessed February 11, 2014.
Coping with guilt and shame. AddictionInfo website. Available at: http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/468/1/Coping-With-Guilt-and-Shame/Page1.html. Accessed February 11, 2014.
Shame. GoodTherapy.org website. Available at: http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-shame.html. Accessed February 11, 2014.
- Reviewer: Michael Woods, MD
- Review Date: 01/2014
- Update Date: 02/11/2014