Your Charmed Life

Your Charmed Life

Top 10 ways to accept the things you cannot change

1. Understand that this is earth, not heaven, and we’re people, not angels. Everything on thisearth.jpg plane of existence has an underside. Nothing is perfect, and yet, when you can frame it in a spiritual way, everything is perfect. (Something to meditate on…)

2. Get out of your ego. Maybe your status in the world isn’t what it once was. Or you’re doing work you thought you’d never do again. Be who you are and do what you’re doing as if it were the grandest thing on earth. 
3. Be happy anyway. There is always something to be happy about, even if you’re feeling very real feelings of sadness about something else. 

black squirrel.jpg

4. Look for the wonders. There’s still a daisy blooming after a frost. I saw a pure white pigeon and pure black squirrel. I met a woman who had almost my exact childhood background: that means we’re practically soulmates and will certainly be friends. These are wonders to relish.
5. Make you life beautiful. Eat at the table instead of in front of the TV. Organize your cupboards and shelves and medicine chest. Light a candle or dig out a piece of antique jewelry. Continually, consistently, put beauty in your life.
6. Don’t compare. “Compare and despair,” they call it in the 12 Step programs. Somebody else always has a better job, a better body, a better website, a better life. Focus on your own.
7. Do what you love, even if only on the weekends. Write. Listen to music. Get out in nature or in the middle of a fabulous city. Whatever it is that pumps you up, do it. Then you can more easily accept for now those parts of your life that aren’t terribly inspiring.
8. Be grateful. I make a mental gratitude list — ten items — before I get out of bed in the

gratitude list.jpg

 morning. It reminds me of the Truth (I am way blessed) before I’m met with the facts (this awful thing happened, and that awful thing might happen. Yeah. Well. I’m still way blessed.)
9. See yourself right. Humility is about reality: who am I really? Well, for starters, every one of us is a magnificent creation, an expression of the Divine. And we’re just one of the folks. Earthly trappings—beauty, acclaim, wealth—often have the disheartening characteristic of being temporary. As a mystic once told me: “I am dust and I am divine. And there is a place in consciousness where that isn’t even contradictory.”
10. Inspire yourself. Prayers and old hymns. Show tunes and affirmations. Rumi and Tony Robbins.  Whatever inspirational currency is for you, keep your account in the black, because right after accepting the things you cannot change, comes changing the things you can. 
Victoria Moran is a spiritual-life and holistic health coach with a practice in New York City and telephone clients throughout North America. To learn more about her coaching services, go to
Comments read comments(9)
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posted October 6, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Be happy anyway! That is so powerful!

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posted October 6, 2009 at 3:51 pm

so beautiful! so true! nice to read (& re-read!) thank you!

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posted October 6, 2009 at 5:39 pm

I really like #6-#8!
Nice post.

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posted October 6, 2009 at 10:56 pm

Beautiful! I’ve always loved the Serenity Prayer, and this expounds on it in a timely and modern way.

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posted October 7, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Thank You for a courageous tell-it-like-it-is!

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Your Name

posted October 7, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Sorry I don’t comment as much as I used to or would like to, but for some reason, my laptop has real problems loading and navigating this site.
This is a fabulous, beautifully written list. The part that spoke to me most, as someone who’s on the verge of giving up blogging because of the competitive hypocrisy and unpleasantness that taints so much of it, was number #6.

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Susie O

posted October 8, 2009 at 7:45 pm

What a great reminder. YES I practice many of thes daily.. Thank God for the twelve step programs.

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posted November 9, 2009 at 10:31 pm

#2 was the best advice for this moment i’m stuck with the things i really wanted to escape since time i entered this course..and it’s a sad fact that i have to deal with this pray i could find valuable reasons to continue..(sigh) :(
my spirit is really down..i could not hide from this truth..

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