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Is there something you’re struggling with in life? Chances are there is always something that we struggle for. How about a relationship with one of your loved ones? God sees the struggle you are having. Do you struggle to put how you are feeling into words because, the other person always seems to turn your words against you?  Do they turn your words on you, even if all you were trying to do is make a point?  If it is a constant struggle to try and talk to someone, figure out why that is, and ask God to help you figure out ways to be easier going with the other person.
Everyone has conflicts or arguments with everyone in their family at one point or another. If it starts to become an every-day thing, and there is always tension, then there is a problem though. That’s when it is time to reexamine yourself and have the other person reexamine themselves to figure out why there is so much tension, pain and hurt, maybe even anger between both of you. It can be hard to look inside your own heart during painful times with the other person, but it can also help you understand how to approach them and react to them.
If they don’t like what you’re saying, and they keep wanting to fight with you about it, you have a right to walk away. If they keep looking for the argument, you don’t even have to say anything to give them an edge over you. Learning to try to approach them with kindness can be one of the most difficult things to do, especially after building up your guard around them, after years of hurt. But it can get easier if you allow it to be.
There is nothing worse than walking into a room with a person and feeling the tension build up inside of you.
It can be even harder to want to start to try to have a relationship with your family member, because you may never know what you are walking into. But you have to be the bigger person and be willing to extend yourself to them, even when it’s the last thing you may want to do.
Ask God to take away any hard feelings you may harbor towards the other person. Ask God to help you relax more around them and to let your guard down bit by bit as the time passes.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” This verse seems very harsh. But this verse means that we should always try and help our family, relatives and especially our own household. It is not easy, at times, because we have our own lives to attend to.  Providing for our families is a privilege that God allows us to have in order to bring us closer to the people we love and to probably teach us lessons that we wouldn’t learn unless we would have the experience of providing for them.
Colossians 3: 132 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This means to have it in your heart to forgive anyone in your family who has hurt you, in any way. Whether the way they hurt you was big or small. Have the courage to talk to the other person about how they hurt you. They will only know that they ever hurt you, if you’re the one to tell them. Tell them why you are hurt by their words, actions, or lack thereof, of actions or words. Explain yourself calmly and rationally as best as you can.
Whenever you go and want to talk to the person who has hurt you, always try to keep an open mind. It takes a lot of courage to step out in faith and talk to someone you aren’t comfortable being around, especially if that person is family. Pray about the encounters you have with them, whether it’s daily, weekly or even only a few times a year. Pray that God would give you the words to say and that He would speak through you, to the other person.
Ask Him to soften both of your hearts and reach both of you through any conversation you may have on a personal level. Ask Him to grant both of you understanding towards each other as you talk through your problems.
If someone in your family hurts you and doesn’t want to talk through it, though, you have every right to walk away. If they fail to see how much they’ve hurt you and, or others, just continue to pray for them. It doesn’t mean that you have to continue to be around them.
Titus 1: 10-11 says, 10 “For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. 11 They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain.”
God will help you through each time that you struggle with any of your family members. Ask Him to help you change your perspective about talking to them and allow yourself time to grow and learn how to be a better person around them. Sometimes you have to be the one to break the ice and make the first move.It can be hard to accept and hard to figure out. However, God will give you the strength to be the bigger person and to become closer to those in your family.
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