The Queen of My Self


I have been inundated lately by articles about the so-called “Midlife Crisis.” Clearly it is subject very much on the minds of many, many women.

Mid Life Crisis: What is it? Is it inevitable? Is it even a real phenomenon? Or is it an invention of the media — that is, corporate advertising trying to sell us things we don’t need? (Not only do we not need these cosmetic and quasi-medical accoutrements, they are downright insulting and sometimes even dangerous.) 

These writings cover the gamut of opinions, ideas, and suggestions about coping with a Midlife Crisis, ours or someone else’s. I offer them up to you to for your interest and edification.

As always, I invite you to send me your stories — experiences, advice, and inspiration to share with our community of Midlife Queens.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Consciousness? You choose!

xxQueen Mama Donna


Why Midlife Rocks Your World -Part 2

By Kathy Caprino

Why is midlife a time of major transition?

I’ve observed that the following contribute to our re-awakening in midlife and wanting change:

1)  A time of reckoning and re-evaluation – Realizing that your life is potentially more than half over is a jarring experience, and brings with it a sense of urgency to live more authentically, more joyfully. At 50, we just want different things than we did at 30.

2)  Kids are out of the house – Without the pressing parenting responsibilities that can be all-consuming, there’s room to think, room to breathe, and quiet space to hear yourself dream.

3)  Friends start to die – My husband and I discussed this just yesterday, that a number of our 50+-year-old friends have died – from sudden illness, cancer, heart attack, etc. When your friends die, you think hard.

4)  Longings won’t be suppressed – After working so hard crafting a “successful” life, we get tired of it.  Instead of some outward version of “success,” we long for joy, excitement, passion, peace — we want to live life more fully, on our terms.

5) We know how to speak up – We won’t be talked down to anymore. We’ve lived through that, and we’ve learned how to stand up, speak up and power up. We won’t tolerate put downs, manipulation or pressure like we used to.

6)  We’ve finally earned it – Finally, after all you’ve strived for, accomplished, created, and achieved, you know what you’re capable of.  You won’t stand for less. You have the confidence and the courage to embrace the idea that’s been skulking around in your mind for years. You’re ready to admit, “This can’t be all there is. I know there’s more for me.”

So, my friends, if you’re in midlife and wondering why everything looks and feels different, don’t be alarmed.  It’s a natural, normal life progression – a stage that doesn’t have to represent hell.

But don’t resist it and break yourself against it like a rock – embrace it.  Let yourself look into the deep recesses of your heart, mind, and soul, to find clues of who you want to become now, and what you want to create in this next thrilling chapter. It’s a new time, waiting for a fuller, more expansive you.

Midlife can pave the way to a glorious reclamation of your passion, power and purpose – go for it!


Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She is the Midlife Midwife™ offering counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to




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