The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Creating a Sacred Space

posted by Donna Henes

I have grown to love winter. It is a time of being home and laying low. A time of making soup and catching up on my ironing. A time of long, indulgent hot baths and slow starting mornings in bed with a cup of tea and a good book.

The more conscious and respectful we become of the abiding presence and guiding force of our Selves, the more we feel inclined to spend time alone in Her excellent company.

One way to honor these healing times of communion, of seclusion, and reflection with that deep part of us that is the source of our strength and wisdom is to conduct them in an environment that is both worthy and conducive to the sacredness of the occasion.

That source, that center of Self, cries out to inhabit a special, sanctified space of our own creation, “a room of our own” as Virginia Woolf put it, where we are happily at home within ourselves. The Queen in us becomes very discriminating as to the quality of peace, order, and beauty that She establishes in Her environment, and She defends its inviolability as sacred.                     

The Queen Suggests: Create Sacred Space

  • Put some meditative music on, dim the lights, and walk, dance, slide, crawl, or roll, slowly through your home. You might want to close or squint your eyes so that you can concentrate on what you feel rather than what you see.
  • Do you feel yourself drawn to a particular area or corner? That is your sitio, your particular sacred space. This is the place where you can feel most strongly your connections to the energy of the earth, to spirit, and to your inner best Self.
  • Your sitio can be as large as a room, as small as a chair or rug, as contained and hidden as a closet. It can be a sitting area or desk space in a larger room. It can be under a dormer in the attic, or even outside in the yard or on the porch.
  • Claim this space as sacred.
  • Cleanse your sitio. Wash the floor, window, or whatever furniture or shelves are in your space. Burn some incense to smudge away any negative energy. Frankincense, sage, cedar, camphor, and copal are especially effective purifying agents.
  • Consecrate your sitio. Bless your sacred space with the intention that it be a safe and comfortable haven for you, a shelter from the storms of living where you can always find your center and reconnect with your Self.
  • Sanctify your sitio by creating an altar with some amulet or altar items that will continually remind you of the purpose of your intention. The amount of space and privacy you have will determine the size and form of your altar.
  • You can construct an actual altar with many holy icons, lucky charms, inspiring images, offerings, and candles. You can discretely place certain personally (and privately) precious items on your desk or dresser top, bookshelf, or window-sill.
  • You can create a drawer or cabinet or closet altar that is completely hidden to all but you.
  • Claim and defend adequate blocks of time to spend in your sacred space so that you might engage with your Self on a regular basis. Use your sacred time and space to write in your journal, listen to music, meditate, do your yoga or exercises, dance, read, daydream, or nap.
  • With Self-engagement and development on our mind any time can be auspicious and any place a sanctuary. All we need do is claim it.

 

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

 

House Cleaning From the Inside Out

posted by Donna Henes

Our messy thinking and sloppy habits come more easily into focus when our surroundings are tidy and beautiful and filled with only what is meaningful, so that we can release them, as well.

A thorough house cleaning, internal as well as external, is a fabulous way to delineate the purpose of our lives. Letting go of the inessential creates an elegant order to our existence. An orderly house always seems like the invitation to a fresh start, which is why so many cultures incorporate a thorough house scrubbing, a clean sweep, as it were, as well as an internal ablution in their New Year’s rituals.

When we clear out the inessentials, we make space for ourselves to grow and expand to fill the void. With the chaff, the distractions and dirty corners of our environments and minds cleared away, we can better see the structure of our lives, the foundations of our support, the bare bones that comprise our true Selves, and dedicate ourselves to living a more authentic life.

Throw out, re-cycle or donate one thing every day. This is a great practice in claiming what is important to you and discarding what is not. It is easy and gradual so that it is not too upsetting. 

Spend an evening in the closet playing dress up. Get rid of everything that that doesn’t fit your figure or your evolved Self-image.

Eliminate one food from your diet that you know you should not eat. When you get used to living without it, eliminate one more. 

Send all of the novels that you know you will never re-read to a school or hospital library or to a clinic waiting room. And that pile of magazines, too. 

Clean out your paper and computer files, your address book, old correspondence and tax records older than seven years. How much of that clutter is really relevant any more? 

Do the same with your medicine cabinet and cosmetic drawers. How many of the products crammed in there merely mask superficial symptoms and flaws rather than enhance your essential strength and beauty?

Remove yourself from situations and relationships that no longer nurture you. Refuse what does not interest you. This is harder. Hold tight to your entitlement to be fulfilled.

Monitor your thoughts, and edit the negative, Self-derogatory ones in mid-stream. Eliminate stinking thinking. Reframe your thoughts so that thy reflect a more positive attitude. 

Reduce stress through yoga, exercise, breathing techniques, warm baths, sex, music, art and/or meditation. 

Eliminate the accumulated toxins in your body by fasting occasionally.

Slough off the old, like a snake shedding its skin, or a butterfly its cocoon. Emerge renewed, refreshed and re-energized.

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

No Country for Old Women

posted by Donna Henes

by Mary Saracino

Howling from the mountaintops
wailing from the riverbanks
scooping the moon into their waning wombs
the old women know that lies kill,
distortions maim, hope isn’t enough to feed starving
babies, school the ignorant, put and end to war.

Like Furies, the old ones rise,
clench their furious fists against the blazing sun;
like Harpies they roar, casting dire warnings
upon the winds of change; soothsaying Sibyls
decipher omens, portend the future, speak in baffling koans.

With dakini wisdom they cut through
illusion, vote in primaries, attend caucuses,
raise their voices against power, shatter
the corrupted ceilings that chafe the crowns
of their wizened heads.

The wandering Maenads cry: “This is no country
for old women.”

Medea calls down her midnight powers,
prays for revolution, strengthens the tired tongues
of memory. Eloquence isn’t enough to heal
a wounded country; sequined celebrities
can’t mend a nation’s odiferous past. Kali avenges
her sisters, the long-patient Queens & Crones,
Maidens & Mothers. The forgotten ones
wait and watch and warn: “Beware the hubris
of ages. Beware the greedy hand that grabs the golden fleece.”
* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

Mad

posted by Donna Henes

I am mad. No, that doesn’t begin to describe it. I am pissed. I am angry. I am irate. I am incensed. I am enraged. I am livid. I am FURIOUS.

“All men are created equal,” states the Declaration of Independence. From the very beginning, women were denied equality in this country. It has taken over two centuries for women to win the right to vote, to have alleged protection under the law, to earn 77 cents on the dollar that men are paid, and to gain control over our own bodies and destinies.

And now, nearly 250 years later, we are seeing our rights being stripped away, one by one, by mean-sprited misogenistic right wing religious super- conservatives.

Several new state laws dictate that before a woman can get an abortion, she must (without her consent) be subjected to an internal sonogram by means of shoving an apparatus into her vagina and up to her uterus. I don’t know about you, but I call this RAPE. Legislated, officially sanctioned rape.

Rationalizing his state-sponsored bill mandating vaginal probes, Virginia Republican Delegate Todd Gilbert declared that women already consented to being “vaginally penetrated when they got pregnant.”

A parallel rule would be that if a man wants a prescription for Viagra, he must undergo an anal probe or an electric shock to his penis to see whether he really can’t get it up. As if this would ever in a million years happen.

While Virginia is pushing legal personhood recognition for an unferilized egg, women, the creators and bearers of eggs are being denied our personhood. This is really scary, like something out of Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

In a review, Kathleen A. Cameron describes the book as “a vision of a fictional theocratic regime that reduces the value of women to reproductive commodities. This depiction is a disturbingly accurate account of the status of women in the Middle East and other parts of the world, [but worse,] in many ways it reflects political, legal, and cultural doctrines, ideologies, and practices [right here] in the U.S.”

All this talk by the Christian Taliban about fighting Iran is such a complete farce. Why not just make it official and join them in Holy Sharia Brotherhood?

When Congress recently held hearings on birth control, the panel of invited experts giving testimony consisted of five male religious leaders.

To her credit, Representative Carolyn Maloney (D-NY) loudly demanded, “Where are the women?” before she and several other democrats stormed out of the hearings. This, I believe was a tactical mistake. Better they should have stayed and created a rumpus.

The one proposed woman witness in favor of subsidized birth control, a third year law student at a Catholic University, was ruled to be “not appropriate and qualified.” by GOP Chairman Darrell Issa who defended the exclusion of a woman from his all-male panel on contraception.

But the outage didn’t stop there. Rush Limbaugh then excoriated her on national radio:

“What does it say about the college co-ed [Sandra] Fluke who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. [. . .]

If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch.”

But while Congress keeps trying to defund contraception, Representative Dan Burton (R-IN) has proposed a bill to provide contraception for wild horses. (You can’t make this stuff up.)

In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder a doctor who provides abortion care. (Yep, for real.)

Can this war against women get any worse? Oh, yes! Maryland Republicans ended all county money for a low-income kids’ preschool program. Why? No need, they said. Women should really be home with the kids, not out working.

Wisconsin just passed a law to repeal the Equal Pay Enforcement Act for women. The shocker? The bill to repeal was authored and sponsored by a woman: Rep. Michelle Litjens, R-Oshkosh.

Another female turncoat collaborator with the enemy of women is journalist Liz Trotta, who, in a Fox News report on sexual abuse of women serving in the military, asked “Well, what did they expect?”

That same old outrage of blaming rape on the victim. Unlike short skirts and revealing blouses, combat fatigues are hardly alluring. So according to her, the mere fact of having breasts is invitation and excuse enough for molestation. Maybe we should bind our breasts. And our feet, too.

A state legislator in Georgia wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to “accuser.” But victims of other less gendered crimes, like burglary, would remain “victims.”

Are you angry enough yet? You’ve heard the saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Well, ladies, it is time for some serious fury! Protest the war on women.

The Queen proclaims, “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!” (The little ones they think with.

Half the population of this country are women, and we will not be sent back to the Dark Ages, and we will not be denied our rights.
- Carolyn Maloney

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

Previous Posts

Creating a Sacred Space
I have grown to love winter. It is a time of being home and laying low. A time of making soup and catching up on my ironing. A time of long, indulgent hot baths and slow starting mornings in bed with a cup of tea and a good book. The more conscious and respectful we become of the abiding presence

posted 6:00:44am Mar. 04, 2015 | read full post »

House Cleaning From the Inside Out
Our messy thinking and sloppy habits come more easily into focus when our surroundings are tidy and beautiful and filled with only what is meaningful, so that we can release them, as well. A thorough house cleaning, internal as well as external, is a fabulous way to delineate the purpose of our l

posted 6:00:28am Mar. 02, 2015 | read full post »

No Country for Old Women
by Mary Saracino Howling from the mountaintops wailing from the riverbanks scooping the moon into their waning wombs the old women know that lies kill, distortions maim, hope isn’t enough to feed starving babies, school the ignorant, put and end to war. Like Furies, the old ones rise,

posted 6:00:38am Feb. 27, 2015 | read full post »

Mad
I am mad. No, that doesn’t begin to describe it. I am pissed. I am angry. I am irate. I am incensed. I am enraged. I am livid. I am FURIOUS. “All men are created equal,” states the Declaration of Independence. From the very beginning, women were denied equality in this country. It has taken

posted 6:00:45am Feb. 25, 2015 | read full post »

Saving Mother Earth
A poem by Mary Saracino Mary Saracino is a novelist, poet and memoir-writer who lives in Denver , Colorado. This compassionate and articulate sister Queen calls herself Queen Mary Immaculata. A single day in April isn’t enough to honor our Mother, save the planet that is her body, rest

posted 6:00:13am Feb. 23, 2015 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.