The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

This Night We Light

posted by Donna Henes

by Judyth Hill

the first of 8:
A Miracle…Let there…beeeeeeeeeee……Love!
And there is!

Fire is our human gift:
the Holy makes Light, and a World …and our job:
Making Love shine back!

First candle says, We Love.
Second, side by side: Be Loved
3 says, Always room for more!
4 says, Set the table, open the door,
And 5: This is how to be alive! 

6 candles we burn,
And learn to press on.
A Miracle has this at core:
The choice to Believe,
Though the heart be sore.

From darkness we see the truth of 7:
Remember Rest is always blessed.

8 flames…..but was there only
Oil for one? This story says, Light
what you can, the Holy
will do the rest. 

Each night stood another -
Did we not see that One
we set, eager to get done?
This one says,
Stand in the center of the Fires and Serve. 

Should you swerve in fear,
Find your nerve, your luminous Verve,
And Shine right there! 

The Miraculous happens each time,
We know that eight is maybe
Nine –and when we serve…
We are Divine! 

First night we light
Not one but 2,
The Miracle says,
I  Stand with You……

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

AAADD: Know The Symptoms

posted by Donna Henes

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. or
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full. 

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first. 

But then I think,
Since I’m going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first. 

I take my check book off the table,
And see that there is only one check left. 

My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking

I’m going to look for my checks,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don’t accidentally knock it over. 

The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. 

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye — they need water. 

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning. 

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I’m going to water the flowers. 

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
But I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I’ll water the flowers. 

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor. 

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill. 

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do. 

At the end of the day:
The car isn’t washed
The bills aren’t paid
There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
The flowers don’t have enough water,
There is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
And I’m really tired. 

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I’ll try to get some help for it,
But first I’ll check my e-mail… 

Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don’t remember who the hell I’ve sent it to.  

- Sent in by the Queens in the New Bern, NC Queen Group

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com. 

Queens Everywhere

posted by Donna Henes

The Queen

Not only in England—
Let us have queens everywhere! 

Queen of Africa
Queen of Afghanistan
Queen of America
Queen of Arabia
Queen of the Argentine
Queen of China
Queen of Columbia
Queen of Egypt
Queen of Germany
Queen of Guatemala
Queen of Iraq
Queen of Israel
Queen of Italy
Queen of Japan
Queen of Mongolia
Queen of Palestine
Queen of Russia
Queen of Spain
Queen of Syria

Queen of the World
Queen of the Universe
Queen of each and every Self— 

To You I bow down.

– Janine Canan
www.janinecanan.com

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

Stop Being Your Biggest Hater (Part 2)

posted by Donna Henes

Steps to Stop Being Your Biggest Hater – Part 2

by Marissa A. Ross

  1. Break the patterns.

Once you have become aware of negative thoughts, they’re pretty easy to detect and you’ll probably be surprised at how often you think them. These patterns can be as simple as constantly saying “I can’t”, or “I don’t know”, or “I guess”. They can be as complex as telling yourself you won’t leave your house if you don’t fit into a certain pair of jeans. The point is, as soon as you recognize you’re hating on yourself (IE: saying things to yourself you wouldn’t dare say to your BFF), you can break the patterns.

An easy way to break the pattern is when you start to think something negative about yourself, turn it around and make it a positive. When you think you can’t do something, turn around and say, “I can do this.” Sure, maybe you try and fail, but telling yourself you can and putting yourself out there will help build confidence and vanquish your fear of failure.

If your negative thoughts are tied to certain actions, replace the action with a healthy alternative. For example, I’m a stress eater. But instead of eating an entire box of frozen burritos because I’m stressed and then basically putting myself into a whole other self-induced anxiety attack for eating said box of burritos, I eat a bowl of cherries. Replacing the totally unhealthy frozen snacks with something delicious and good for me, I save myself the anguish of punishing and bullying myself (which I normally would) for eating ten Tina’s burritos.

(For those of you who have never had to buy Tina’s burritos, yeah, they’re $1 in your freezer section. Great for broke college years, terrible for your health.)

3.5. Be your biggest fan.

Just totally give over to fully supporting yourself. Even when it seems ridiculous, laugh at your own jokes, encourage yourself to try new things and daydream about your amazing future. Tell yourself you’re beautiful, dance around naked regularly and talk to the cute boy at the party, because what’s the point of not?! Give yourself the chance to believe that you can be everything you’ve ever wanted to be, because the truth is, you can be as soon as you stop telling yourself you can’t.

  1. Focus on goals & work you love.

Now that you are your own cheerleader, go after goals, ambitions and work you enjoy doing. Not only will this strengthen your confidence by being brave and pursuing your passions, but by doing what you love, you are bound to excel. Take pride in this work and recognize your achievements, no matter how small they seem. Do your best not to compare yourself to others, and have faith in your own path because it is yours & yours alone. No one will ever walk it besides you, so know that it can take you where you want to go as long as you believe in it and yourself.

  1. Develop healthy lifestyle habits.

A quick way to boost your self-esteem is by living a healthy lifestyle. It’s incredible how much exercise and eating right can help. Not only does it help you gain a better self-image, but it also helps get expel a lot of the pent up anxiety you can incur throughout your daily life. Find an exercise routine you truly enjoy and eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies. Being active and eating clean food will help you feel good all over, mind & body. I’m not trying to mom-out on you, but if you think all the preservatives and chemicals in processed foods can be good for you, girl, you need more help than this post has to offer.

It’s also a good idea to pick up some exercises for your spirit, like meditation or yoga. As with anything, practicing to silence your thoughts and quell your fears through these exercises will make it easier in your daily life, and c’mon, who doesn’t want to fall asleep without a thousand worries bombarding you?!

  1. Be the best friend you’ve always wanted.

And now, after all that, this is the easy part. See, once you master the other steps, being your own best friend will come naturally. You won’t have to try because practice creates habits and habits create lifestyles. You won’t continually beat yourself up. You won’t constantly second guess yourself. You won’t be stuck in your cave.

When you’re having a bad day, you’ll be able to look into your sky and beyond the clouds, because you know that they’re only temporary. You know that beyond the storm is another day, full of promise. You will know you’re a beautiful person inside and out, and will be able to remind yourself when you’re just PMSing. Never stop telling yourself to go for it, and never think twice about standing up for yourself, because you will always have a best friend who supports you.

  • Marissa Ross

* ***
Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

Previous Posts

This Night We Light
by Judyth Hill the first of 8: A Miracle…Let there…beeeeeeeeeee……Love! And there is! Fire is our human gift: the Holy makes Light, and a World ...and our job: Making Love shine back! First candle says, We Love. Second, side by side: Be Loved 3 says, Always room for more! 4 says

posted 6:00:16am Dec. 17, 2014 | read full post »

AAADD: Know The Symptoms
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. or Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better even though I have it! This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over

posted 6:00:23am Dec. 15, 2014 | read full post »

Queens Everywhere
The Queen Not only in England— Let us have queens everywhere!  Queen of Africa Queen of Afghanistan Queen of America Queen of Arabia Queen of the Argentine Queen of China Queen of Columbia Queen of Egypt Queen of Germany Queen of Guatemala Queen of Iraq Queen of Israel Queen of

posted 6:00:21am Dec. 12, 2014 | read full post »

Stop Being Your Biggest Hater (Part 2)
Steps to Stop Being Your Biggest Hater - Part 2 by Marissa A. Ross Break the patterns. Once you have become aware of negative thoughts, they’re pretty easy to detect and you’ll probably be surprised at how often you think them. These patterns can be as simple as constantly saying “

posted 6:00:58am Dec. 10, 2014 | read full post »

Stop Being Your Biggest Hater
Steps to Stop Being Your Biggest Hater - Part 1 by Marissa A. Ross I spent about ten years of my life living in a dark, cavernous cave I created in my mind. This cave constantly echoed all my greatest fears and anxieties. It resonated these absolutely insane thoughts I had developed about myse

posted 6:00:38am Dec. 08, 2014 | read full post »


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