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The Queen of My Self

The Queen of My Self

Witness

posted by Donna Henes

By Shiloh Sophia McCloud

Inside of you 
is radiant luminous code. 
Ciphers ripe for deciphering. 
This seeing is what I came here for. 
Some might call me an artist, 
and a poet if they favor me. 
I am merely a witness 
to your potential beauty.

Inside of you 
stardust is begging the seams 
to cross the veil of form. 
Reach through 
and take hold of the tail 
of particle and wave 
and pull it through to this place 
where we hearts can witness you.

Inside of you 
there is something sacred. 
That which I call “content” 
which belongs only to you, as you. 
Sometimes you don’t see it, 
I see it, we are all witness to it. 
We have need for your gifts, 
place them here on the altar.

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Inside of you 
there is a great longing to be seen 
but only you can fill this longing. 
We already see your radiance, 
yet your longing persists. 
Now you know you must see yourself 
to be fully seen in the way you seek. 
You are your own witness.

Inside of you 
a great call is calling 
a great wheel is turning, towards you. 
That which is yours to do is at the threshold, ? 
beckoning for you to witness with your yes. 
There are many ways to say yes. 
Here take this pen, this brush, 
and give yourself 
as a love offering to your own life.

 

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

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Be A Queen: Own Your Power And Glory

posted by Donna Henes

Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward the challenge.

Take it on! Be a truth seeker, and rule your domain, whatever it is – your home, your office, your family – with a loving heart.

Be a queen. Be tender. Continue to give birth to new ideas and rejoice in your womanhood.

We are daughters of God – here to teach the world how to love.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through, where you come from, who your parents are, or your social or economics status.

None of that matters. What matters is how you choose to love, how you choose to express that love through your work, through your family, through what you have to give to the world.

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Be a queen. Own your power and your glory.

–Oprah Winfrey

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

 

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Baby Boomers War Against Aging

posted by Donna Henes

By Dr. Glenda Smith

Have you noticed lately? There are too many of them to count… “Baby Boomers.”

Nearly 78 million of them can be found in this country, to be exact. This figure is not to be taken lightly, as it constitutes about one quarter of the nation’s total population.

Baby Boomers come in all sizes, shapes, colors and psychological make-ups. The one common characteristic among all members is that they were born between 1946 and 1964 – post World War II.

Who are they? “Baby Boomers” – often referred to as the S Generation or the Sandwich Generation — play many important roles. Their present age range is from the mid-40s to the mid-60s. Besides the communality of age, many feel that Baby Boomers carry a host of other characteristics, which distinguish them from their predecessors. Some of their traits include:

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  • Members tend to live longer;
  • Members begin families later in life;
  • Members are often interwoven in a unique intergenerational family structure. They are parenting their own children while also parenting their aging parents;
  • With this complex mix, they are also trying to satisfy their own set of spiritual, emotional and financial needs as well as those of a spouse.

If the variables mentioned are not enough to manage, baby boomers find themselves locked into an era in which political uncertainty prevails; the fear and devastation of global warfare dominate our consciousness; and economic instability is the hue and cry of the day. For many, these conditions tend to create a panacea of ills leading to states of anxiety and depression. Some psychologists call it the “midlife crisis.”

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Despite these phenomena, we clearly have in our midst the makings of a rare breed

Age-ism and the quest for longevity

America has been accused of being too focused on youth — to the extent that “youthfulness” has almost become a culture in and of itself.

The fact is, older adults have built the nation; run it reasonably well; and continue to control most of it, economically and politically. This does not seem, however, to daunt the “youth fever” which abounds in our society. We see this played out daily on television, in movies, advertising, and other media.

So what is the result? We dye our hair, flaunt the most frisky fashion fads, spend ge-zillions of dollars on cosmetics and health spas while we starve ourselves trying to get to size four. Sound familiar? Many conclude that baby boomers, in particular, have declared a war on aging. They will not grow old gracefully. They will not grow old at all.

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Baby Boomers wage war

This is not to say that all of their efforts lean toward silliness. Many boomers (and other age groups) also strive toward longevity by leading a healthy life style. They eat healthy meals, rest adequately, exercise regularly, and make regular visits to their physicians for a check-up. In either case, the end goal is to live a long and healthy life and to enjoy the journey.

Then there is there is the ‘ol’ demon’ stress and related burn-out, which many people suffer as they strive to maintain the status quo in our fast-paced society . The weapons waged against stress vary from vitamins, exercise, jogging and vacations to prayer, meditation and yoga. And if all else fails, there is Prozac.

Baby Boomers are winning

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Nonetheless, the nation is getting older. The age group 65 and above is one of the fastest growing in the American population according to population statistics.

In a recent broadcast of World News Tonight, Diane Sawyer reported that medical scientists have now developed a new test to determine a person’s level of aging. For about $700, a person can take a simple blood test which will indicate when he/she will die. The blood test will show if part of a cell called the telomeres is shorter than normal.

It appears that smoking, drinking alcohol and stress may shorten the length of the telomeres. One can lengthen them with the practice of good health habits.

Interestingly, most people surveyed did not wish to take the test. At present, the average life expectancy for Americans is about 82 years, give or take. The average life span for men in our culture is about 81 years, while women fare better. Most women can expect to live to about 83 years old.

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We also note that there is a marked increase in the number of centenarians in our society (persons age 100 or beyond). Compared to just a few decades ago, these findings are astonishing.

Medical scientists envision that the average life span is soon likely to extend to 120 to 125 years. With the advances in medical technology, access to “super drugs,” and the nation’s focus on healthy living, this level of longevity is indeed a possibility.

Many are concerned as to the extent to which we can handle increased longevity. Real problems can arise with aging. Not only are there social problems — can I depend on Social Security? Will I have to go to a nursing home? Will Medicare and Medicaid hold out?

But the real question may be, are we living well or simply living longer?

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

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The Queen’s Clothes – Part 2

posted by Donna Henes

…..Continued from Wednesday’s Post of Part 1….

When I was really young I made all the clothes for my paper dolls, eschewing the ready made ones that you were supposed to cut out. I also made clothes for my other dolls from my mother’s rag box and collection of buttons and ribbons. When I first moved to New York at 20, I worked as an assistant in a Hassidic day care center, went to college at night, and designed and sewed velvet palazzo pants with embroidered hippie trim on the cuffs for a boutique in the Village until they ripped off my designs and had their own Puerto Rican seamstresses stitch them up on the cheap.

In my thirties I turned my love of clothes into art. I created what I called the Salvation Sensation Cheek Boutique, a vintage shop in my loft. I collected clothes in thrift shops on my many travels and altered them in some way – added or took away collars or sleeves or changed some decorative detail. Shopping was by appointment. We would drink sherry and play dress up. The experience served as a sort of therapy, too. Not retail therapy, but working and playing with issues of Self-esteem and Self-expression. People came to create costumes to wear to divorce court, for example, or for a 50s theme sock hop, or whatever. I even hosted mending parties where folks brought the pile of stuff they had been meaning to fix. I supplied lots of threads, scissors, and notions, as well as tea, sherry, and music. We sat ensconced in comfortable cushions in a soothing domestic environment. We mended our clothes and tended our spirits.

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In that same decade I did a healing ritual project at Manhattan Psychiatric Center. I collected clothes that the donors felt were lucky or soothing or healing. On Memorial day I sat with patients and doctors tearing all these energy-filled clothes into bandage strips in honor of all the women who tore all the bandages for all the wars all throughout time. Then I spent three weeks tying a strips of this healing cloth on the trees and bushes on the hospital grounds – one for every patient and staff member, 5,160 in all. My friend Sarah Jenkins took pictures of each item of clothing and of the entire ritual process. These pictures along with the journal I kept became my book, Dressing Our wounds in Warm Clothes.

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In my Queen of My Self workshops, the most common concern I hear expressed is that women who are aging are feeling or afraid to feel invisible. And this is not just imagined. We have been told that we need to tone down our style as we age. Be less bold in our appearance. Less creative. Less expressive. Less. Much less. We are threatening, you see. The strong and competent woman who is in charge is scary to the status quo. We are expected to cut our hair, wear more beige, go to bed early, act our age, and disappear altogether.

How sad is that? And how stupid. We Queens are at our most powerful now. And whether the powers-that-be recognize it or not, the world, the planet, needs us to assert ourselves right now in every way and on every level. We cannot, must not ,just fade away without an unseemly fuss. While it is crucial to feel good about ourselves and empowered, it is also most most important that we model it for all to see.

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Let us take our razzle dazzle out of the closet and into the streets. Let us wear our grey hair, our wrinkles, and our wisdom with pride and aplomb. Let us wear what we want, age appropriate be damned. Let us strut our stuff with the assurance of our maturity. Let us project our powerful persona so that it is impossible for us not to be seen and recognized as the Queens we are.

 

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Donna Henes is the author of The Queen of My Self: Stepping into Sovereignty in Midlife. She offers counseling and upbeat, practical and ceremonial guidance for individual women and groups who want to enjoy the fruits of an enriching, influential, purposeful, passionate, and powerful maturity. Consult the MIDLIFE MIDWIFE™

The Queen welcomes questions concerning all issues of interest to women in their mature years. Send your inquiries to thequeenofmyself@aol.com.

 

Previous Posts

Witness
By Shiloh Sophia McCloud Inside of you 
is radiant luminous code. 
Ciphers ripe for deciphering. 
This seeing is what I came here for. 
Some might call me an artist, 
and a poet if they favor me. 
I am merely a witness 
to your ...

posted 6:00:42am May. 22, 2015 | read full post »

Be A Queen: Own Your Power And Glory
Be a queen. Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward the challenge. Take it on! Be a truth seeker, and rule your domain, ...

posted 6:00:49am May. 20, 2015 | read full post »

Baby Boomers War Against Aging
By Dr. Glenda Smith Have you noticed lately? There are too many of them to count… “Baby Boomers.” Nearly 78 million of them can be found in this country, to be exact. This figure is not to be taken lightly, as it constitutes about ...

posted 6:00:41am May. 18, 2015 | read full post »

The Queen's Clothes - Part 2
.....Continued from Wednesday's Post of Part 1.... When I was really young I made all the clothes for my paper dolls, eschewing the ready made ones that you were supposed to cut out. I also made clothes for my other dolls from my mother's rag ...

posted 6:00:11am May. 15, 2015 | read full post »

The Queen’s Clothes - Part 1
I am a clothes horse. I love clothes. I love dressing up. I love putting outfits together. I love the treasure hunt of shopping for treasures in thrift stores, which I do whenever I can and wherever I am. I love the color of clothes, the feel of ...

posted 6:00:40am May. 13, 2015 | read full post »

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