Stuff Christian Culture Likes
August 2008 Archives

Christian culture, gay men in rural communities, and NASCAR fans are the only demographics that continue to endorse this look.

When greeting someone of the opposite sex, Christians often employ the side hug. This is an unwritten rule of greeting so that you don’t mash your naughty bits together and trigger stumbling.*

Bible covers are purchased almost exclusively by Christian women aged 18 – 94. They usually have a tranquil scene or a Bible verse sewn on them.

Sometimes in youth group a guy will stand up and ask for prayer for his chronic masturbation. Accountability partners are assigned so they can keep tabs on how they’re not whacking off. The youth group leader approaches guys at church retreats and asks “Do you struggle with masturbating?”

All scientific evidence suggests that Jesus was actually quite swarthy, but the vast majority of images portray him as a cracker.

She’s a gal on the go who combines the perkiness and wholesomeness yet absence of vulnerability that Christian culture women admire, and her recipes are great for moms with a house full of kids (see #23) and a husband who doesn’t help out that much (per their defined roles).

There’s nothing quite like being literally locked into the youth group building all night with Mountain Dew, several crushes, good clean games and ministry to keep you up the whole night through.

This is a game where everyone starts horfing marshmallows and whoever can enunciate the words “chubby bunny” with the most marshmallows crammed in their mouth is the winner.

Christian culture likes to dissect prominent Christians’ lives and figure out how they do stuff. They study what their daily life looks like, how they balance family and ministry, how many books they’ve published, and how large their churches that they founded are

Christian women give this to each other at bridal showers and as it is unwrapped they say cheerfully “It’s a married woman’s best friend!” If you find this unsettling, that feeling is valid.