I fell on my knee the other day. Long story short, I landed on my right knee hard. (Dramatic story and boo-hoo on my website.) Two days later, I’m ready to get back to exercise and me, but I can’t.
Yesterday, I had to go up and down the steps like a little kid, one at a time, which is super annoying. I couldn’t kneel without some pain. Not sharp, just sore. My body was wondering what we are doing, acting like an old lady. I iced it and didn’t do anything crazy, just normal life.
Today, it’s not sore to the touch and was fine going up the steps. Healing has begun. Put some arnica get on it. Doing what feels right. I posted a question on Facebook this morning about any physical therapy or yoga stretches that would be good. Of course, I opened myself up to all points of view and opinions by bringing it up. I can be super protective of my vibe and know others mean well. I don’t let everyone in on if I’m working on something or my energy is off balanced until I find my knowing. Worry and fear based energy or pity feels terrible to me. Everyone else’s experiences aren’t mine. I listened with love to all the comments, but then it just started to feel like crap. I deleted the thread and after this post, I’m putting the “injury” type vibe to bed. I am good at listening to my body and am uber aware of my own “stuff.” I always get my gems of clarity and see this will all work out perfectly for me. It’s a reminder for me to honor what others feel as their truth, answers, and soul whispers even if I don’t agree. I try to only give me two cents if asked anyway. I’ll be sure to remind others I have faith in them. It’s a dance. With my kids, hubby, parents, I can go into fear about stuff too, out of love.
It’s all more trust lessons. As I was driving today, I heard the Rod Stewart song, “Forever Young” and of course started crying about my daughter going into her Senior year of high school next week. I’m a goober and I own it. I have to trust. I have to trust God. I have to trust the love was enough. I have to trust I was enough. I’m a ballsy chick with a mushball heart, who was a young mom who always felt like she was messing up. My daughter has turned out amazing. She actually inspires me. So underneath all the physical stuff, like this falling on my face, and my knee giving out is a fear of moving forward. My career is taking off and I’ll keep pushing myself and getting bolder. But in my life, the juice of my experience, my family is everything. This time next year, my oldest daughter will be off to college, my oldest son will be off to high school, middle son into 3rd grade, youngest son starting kindergarten, the baby girl will be 1 1/2, my mom will be 70, my hubby will be 40. It’s a WOWSA year. A lot of change. As I drove along taking in all my feelings, I asked myself, “Can I put this sad energy to bed?” And I got that I can just change my take on it. Not to be morbid, but next year who’s to say whether I’ll be here or any of us? Meaning, I must be present and enjoy all the moments with our family. Savor all the good moments instead of mourning that they’re be no more moments like it. They’ll be different special moments.
Balance is key. This summer I was juggling working and my kids. Time to get clear about what I want and recenter. Healing on all levels. As for my knee: My knee will heal. Sometimes we hurt ourselves and it just heals. I’m old school like that. I will be smart and listen to my body. Rest is called for and I am a go-go-go girl so I will adjust and it will be all good. Working my abs and arms today because movement is still what my body craves. I am resilient. I am strong. I am open to receive healing. I listen to my body. I receive my signs loud and clear. I move forward with ease. I am Divinely loved and supported by the Universe. Much love and many blessings. (And when it’s all better, I’ll appreciate my legs even more. Thank you, body, for all you do for me.)