Is it ever a good idea to hit your children in the name of enforcing good behavior, or for any reason whatsoever in the name of good parenting?
Taking into account the varied belief systems that may guide your parenting; and also which generation you were raised in may help determine how you will answer this question. I will also present a series of questions for you to consider, as only you can determine who you want to be.
You are the parent to your child, and an outside party giving you advice on what they think you should or should not do probably won’t influence your behavior one way or another anyway.
When I was growing up, it wasn’t considered a bad thing for parents to strike their child when the parent considered the child was misbehaving. Regardless of what level of striking a child you consider abuse, in the sixties parents that hit their children on occasion weren’t frowned upon. My Mom would sometimes slap my face and it wasn’t unheard of for my Dad to take off his belt and hit my backside when he felt I had transgressed in some way. These events rarely occurred and I don’t feel particularly scarred by them. They are however, etched vividly into my memory.
Modern times show less favor to the parent that occasionally hit their children. These days, it is commonly seen as abuse no matter what level of severity a parent displays regarding this behavior. The question will always be: Who is it that you choose to be in your parenting?
This is an inquiry that is deeply personal to you, therefore only you can decide what type of behavior is true and correct for you.
Your life and behavior is not about outside forces and judgments, it is about how you feel about what you are living. Only then, can your feelings dictate your best direction.
~Every behavior towards your child is a reflection of how you are feeling. For example: If you strike your child will you do this when you are feeling happy?
~ Were you hit by your parents and how did it make you feel? For example: Are your children feeling your love and caring?
~What message is your child getting by being hit? Is it the message you mean to send?
~In what manner do you learn new behaviors? For example: When ideas or actions are presented in a positive way or when they are presented in a hurtful way? Is your child learning anything?
~What is your Internal Guidance System telling you? For example: How does it feel to hit your child?
~Is it fear you want to instill in your child or a deep sense of security?
By clearly defining who it is that you want to be which comes from your own life experience, you will then have the ability to choose your highest parenting. How you feel about every action you take will tell you if you are moving closer to or away from your ideals and goals.
Please feel free to comment.
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.