You think you’ve prepared your child for their teen years, at least to the best of your ability. Perhaps you have talked about sex, relationships and how they fit in to their young lives. Your child may even have agreed with you at the time and you felt a deep sense of relief that all would be well. Then one day your teen comes home and broaches the subject of wanting to have a sleepover with someone of the opposite sex.
Whether you are a progressive parent or one with more conservative views, the subject of your teen having sex may be a sensitive one. Not just having sex, but also having sex under your roof. You may think your teen is sexually active, or know for sure, but it can feel very different when faced with it being in your home. Some experts say the safest place for kids to have sex is at home, as the alternatives generally involve the backseat of a car, a park or some other creative location. It can create great anxiety thinking your child is “out there” somewhere having sex. But are you willing to host the situation?
Studies show that sex is important to teens and they’re going to have sex with or without your approval. The question you may be faced with is how close you want the scenario. The time to give serious thought to your feelings and values may be before the subject ever comes up so you can feel confident in your decision.
Some big questions to consider if your teen wants a sleepover:
~How does your child regard having sex at home? Ask them if they would really be comfortable with it.
~ How will you feel once it’s actually happening? It’s important to explore if it will feel traumatic for you.
~ Does it matter if your child is in a committed relationship or not? Determine if you’ll feel more comfortable one way or another.
~ Do you know the person your teen wants to bring over? Decide if this is part of your criteria in order to say yes.
~ Do you feel confident your teen has a firm grasp on safe sex? Be sure your child is well versed on methods, which protect them from unwanted pregnancy and disease.
~ Is it important to you, that the parent of the other teen be aware of a sleepover? Ask your teen if they have been made aware of the situation.
~ Will you regret your decision, be it a yes or a no to their request? Make any decision listening to your Internal Guidance System.
You may face many sensitive situations over the course of your child’s teenage years. As you are asking yourself questions that help you make choices, be sure and teach your teen to do the same.
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© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.