I was about to start off this post by saying, “Not to toot my own horn, but…” and then I stopped. Because I realized I was, in fact, about to toot my own horn. Because any time someone starts a sentence like this…
I don’t mean to brag, but…
I don’t want to sound disrespectful, but…
…then they are lying. What they’re doing is trying to soften the fact that, yes, they really do intend to brag and they really are about to say something disrespectful. It’s just that they realized it before the words came out and are trying to soften it a little. But they don’t fool me.
And anyway, isn’t the act of blogging pretty much a way of tooting one’s own horn anyhow? One of my tags on this blog is “shameless self-promotion” and it’s one I use for almost every post. This blog? More self-absorbed than a reality-show contestant in a hall of mirrors.
(I have no idea what that means.)
Anyway…I competed in and finished my first triathlon this weekend and I feel the need to tell you about it. It was a sprint triathlon (350-yard swim, 12.7-mile bike, 5K run). It was hard, and I hadn’t trained sufficiently for it, but it was fun and I finished. And now I can walk around feeling healthier and more accomplished than anyone else. I want to have conversations like this:
Me: “Hey, man. What did you do this weekend?”
Friend: “Oh, nothing. Slept late. Watched the British Open. Drank some beer.”
Me: “Cool. I ran a triathlon.” (Zing!)
…but I don’t. That would probably be going too far in the name of horn-tooting. And I’ve gone far enough already.